Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Thoughts on the IF Journey

So much alone
On this journey.

Though many go before me
And still others follow
In this journey I am alone.

Even he who walks beside me
Holding my hand down this path
Can not know my pain.
It is mine alone
As his belongs solely to him.

Though a dream shared,
A battle both have fought,
Disappointment simultaneously felt,
In this ache we are both still


The Hubs and I were talking last night about our IF journey and how far we had come and how far we still had yet to go. We were discussing how each of us felt at this point in the journey and how we felt others might be feeling when they reached this point. These words just came to me while we were talking, so I grabbed a pen and wrote them down.

I think that, while we all share this journey, the pain is ours alone. We can't know how each individual feels. We can't know exactly how even our partner feels. Pain is such an intimate private thing. It can't be explained. It can only be felt in each person's own way.


kate said...

lovely thoughts. You're absolutely right. We each experience this differently. There are a few common elements I think, which is why I read other people's blogs because I can relate, but at the heart of it our pain is ours, and ours alone.

AKD said...

Oh, my goodness, you are so right. There just aren't people who can take on these emotions with us; everyone's journey is so personal.

Justina said...

Your comments ring so true. You can understand where someone is coming from and what they've gone through, but actually knowing how they are feeling is so different.

Ms B. Thrift said...

You are right, i think whenever you go through any kind of loss & grief (and yours is the same, you grieve what hasn't been/isn't there)it's so easy for people to say they know how you feel, but even if they have experienced something similar noone really knows the pain you feel, the ways you think, the little thoughts and feelings, pangs and aches you have on your journey, its so individual.
I guess its understandable, people want us to feel better, want to share our pain and therefore halve it, especially those close to us, but really it is an impossible task. I think sometimes the kindest thing to say is not "I know how you feel" but "I don't know how you feel, but I care about you and don't want you to feel alone"

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