2012 Parting Thoughts - What I've Learned......

....About Motherhood

1. It is possible to love someone so much you would do absolutely anything for them.
2. It doesn't matter if you share half of your child's DNA or none of it, they have your heart wrapped around their little finger and can do no wrong in your eyes.
3. There will never, ever, ever be enough room in your home for you, your spouse, your child and the myriad of toys that Santa brings. Ever.
4. Your borderline OCD compulsion for a neat and tidy home will never survive the first month of life with a child.
6. Sippy cups should be made with wings, as they fly more often than any bird I've ever seen.
7. Ditto baby spoons and plates.
8. The food that your child adores today will not meet the standard of approval tomorrow.
9. A cheeky baby smile can make a terrible day suddenly seem like one of your best.
10. No matter how tired you are, you will find the energy to cook, clean, play, bathe, read, rock to sleep, get to bed at midnight, be up during the night and get up again at 6am to do it all over again with a smile on your face and a prayer of thanks in your heart for being given the amazing blessing of a child.
12. A snuggle and a simple "Wub you!" is worth all the waiting you ever did.

....About Grief

1. Despite the assurities that time heals the pain, it's still as acute now as it was the day my Daddy passed away.
2. Fresh waves of grief can hit you at the oddest times - in the middle of a movie, during a commercial, watching your niece graduate from high school, during your own college graduation, the day your child comes to live with you, putting out Christmas decorations, helping Santa place gifts under the tree - moments you'd never expect to feel sad during.
3. Even during the second Thanksgiving and Christmas without him, I still expect to see him laughing and asking for another piece of turkey.
4. Despite my fears, the sound of his voice has yet to fade from my memory.
5. Ditto his unique "Daddy" smell.
6. He would have loved his little grandson.
7. Proof that he sends me gifts - our certainty that no photos of our entire family (parents and all 4 kids) as adults existed was shattered mere days before my birthday when I discovered a photo taken two days after Christmas in 2004, the last time we were all home that wasn't because Daddy was sick.

....About a Decade of Marriage

1. Even after 10 years of marriage, my husband is still a bed cover thief.
2. Despite knowing it frustrates me, it is a certainty that when I'm feeling agitated, my husband will make silly comments.
3. No matter how much Dr. Pepper I buy, it will disappear in a matter of a couple of days.
4. Magic the Gathering trading cards are always the perfect go-to item when I'm stuck for a gift idea.
5. Shoes will never last more than 6 months
6. Dinner and a movie with my hubby is still the greatest night out ever.
7. Years of waiting for it to happen have made my hubby a fantastic daddy, even if he was absolutely terrified he would screw it up.
8. I married a great man.

....About Faith

1. The bad actions of a few church members should not be allowed to discourage me from worshiping.
2. Being in a place of worship always has the power of soothing me when I feel disheartened.
3. The Lord (my belief) will always see me through any situation as long as I maintain faith in His omnipetence.
4. Good things come when the time is right.
5. Life has a way of working out for the best (cliche, but true).

....About Family

1. My mom depends on me more than I ever thought possible.
2. I can't seem to do things I want to do or that are in my best interest if my family needs me to do something else.
3. My nieces reacted completely differently to the addition of Monster Man than I expected. The younger of the two, at age 11, has been excited, loving and generous to the point of spending her own money to buy him gifts. The older, at 19, has been incredibly jealous to the point of crying that more money was spent on him for Christmas than on her. While the first lightens my heart, the latter truly saddens me.
4. Since my dad's death, I feel much more responsible for my family.
5. I still hate talking on the phone, even to my family who take it personally. It's not meant that way.

....About The Shy Side of 35

1. The older I get, the quicker the years pass.
2. My body thinks it's older than my 34 years.
3. Due to that phenomenon, I now understand why people have children in their 20's.
4. My mind still wants to be a late night person, but my body is a 7am-at-the-latest waker.
5. I'm allowed to find younger guys hot as long as they're famous and, therefore, completely out of reach.
6. My current career makes me really unhappy.
7. I'm far too willing to allow people to run over me to avoid conflict.
8. I'm very judgmental about famous people.
9. While I do feel there is much I can improve on, I generally like the person I am.

....About Patience

1. I have a general lack of it.
2. I've had to learn to have more of it. Homestudies take forever!
3. My son has no patience either. He's even worse than me, if that's possible.
4. Patience is a virtue, but virtues are sometimes overrated.
5. I truly hope I can remain patient while the path of Monster Man's future with us plays out.

....About Meeting Goals

1. Working my butt off to earn my Bachelors degree was totally worth it.
2. Despite the length of time it took to complete our homestudy, we did what we needed to do and Monster Man is the reward. So worth it there aren't even words to describe it.
3. If you set your mind to it, it really isn't that hard to read 50 books. And, hey, if you can arrange it so that the 50 Shades trilogy is 3 of those, then you've definitely had fun reaching the goal!

....About Friendship

1. 12,000 miles plays havoc on a friendship.
2. A friend with more desire to party than to be a good parent can also dampen a friendship.
3. Even though I don't feel at fault for the diminishing of either of those 2 close friendships, I do still feel heartsick that things turned out the way they did.

....About Musical Expression

1. 2012 was the year of the has-been comeback attempt - Mariah Carey, Britney Spears.
2. If the guests on Dick Clark's Rockin' New Year's Eve are any indication - Brandy - 2013 will carry on that tradition.
3. I am completely unopposed to the influx of folk and techno folk music that has taken over the charts in the last few months.
4. After 34 years, I seem to have finally developed my own sense of what music I love without requiring someone else's approval that I've made a good choice.

....About Making Plans

1. A great way to make sure your plans won't happen is to make them.
2. It really seems as if buying a home is not in the cards for us, as everytime we get near the signing line, The Hubs' job comes to an end.
3. While motherhood is fantastic, making plans just isn't something we can do easily because we don't know where he'll be in a few months.

....About The Future

1. Everything could change in a few months. Monster Man will either go back to his birthmom or he'll legally become ours.
2. Hopefully, new jobs are on the horizon for both The Hubs and I.
3. My mom will probably be moving in with us soon. This, of course, means finding a larger home and, hopefully, purchasing it.
4. We're hopeful the new jobs and move will be to a different - although not terrible distant - town.

Here's hoping your 2013 is full of nothing but good things!

Baby Love

Hello from the land of parenthood!

My apologies for the lack of an update around here, however, I have been otherwise occupied =D Our little Monster Man (so known because of his penchant for making an "Argh!" monster sound and smiling at you) certainly has taken up a lot of my time lately! I am loving being a mother, but do find it difficult to find time to do the things I used to love, such as blogging....and reading.....and eating. Did I mention I've lost 22 lbs since Monster Man came to live with us? Yup =D The Toddler Diet and Exercise Program is working wonders for me! I highly recommend it, lol!

So, the plan for Monster Man's future at this time is reunification with his birthmom. However, his caseworker told me a few weeks ago that her gut feeling was that she would be terminating rights. She asked us if we would be interested in adopting him should he become available for adoption and we emphatically told her yes we would!! Right now, we continue as we've been and wait patiently to see what the future will hold.

In the meantime, we have been seeing Monster Man's doctor frequently and have spent a few nights in the hospital with bronchitis. It seems that the cleft lip and palate that Monster Man was born with is, despite appearances and reports to the contrary, not completely repaired, therefore, he gets frequent sinus and respiratory infections. We are, thus, being referred to an ENT to see what we need to do to get our little man fixed up! Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we undertake that journey.

As far as Monster Man himself, he is settling in very well with us. He seems to love being here and he really is the sweetest baby ever! He's very small for his age - he turned 2 last Sunday and wears only a size 12 month to 18 month. Usually anyone who meets him is amazed at how small he is! And everyone who has met him simply falls almost immediately in love with him =D We really are incredibly lucky!

I don't want to wish bad things for his birthmom, but I really do hope he gets to stay with us! I don't know how I'll make it if he has to leave. For the timebeing, though, we're just enjoying every moment we have with him!

Changes

Once again it seems an inordinate amount of time has passed since I last posted. Indeed, there have been lots of changes and several important things have happened since last I updated you, but I will try to make this brief. First of all, we received a call about 2 weeks ago (gah! Has it really been that long since I posted?!?!) Saying that our homestudy had been approved! Hooray!!! Our home was set to open on October 1. And open it did. However, we had no news on the girl we are hoping to adopt. We have been patiently waiting to see what was going to happen with her, but so far nothing. All was moving along fine until last Wednesday, when The Hubs woke up sick. Not the usual oh-I-don't-feel-good-think-I'll-stay-home-from-work sick, but really SICK. He had severe pains in his stomach. I made him go to the doctor - because, of course, being a man, he thought he could just force his way through debillitating pain. At the doctor, they sent him for some bloodwork, which came back with an elevated white blood cell count and elevated platelets. So he was sent for a CT scan and they thought it probable he had appendicitis. He was admitted to the hospital to await the results of the CT. Turns out he did not have appendicitis, but instead had ileitis of the terminal ileium (severe infection in his small intestines) secondary probably to either Inflammatory Bowel Disease or Crohns. They're leaning towards Crohns, but he'll have to have a colonoscopy/EGD to get a definitive diagnosis. So, we spent 4 days in the hospital. He was discharged Saturday night and we came home and resumed our quiet life. He was back at work on Monday. Yesterday I was home sick with a bad migraine headache and was laying on the couch when my phone rang with a call from our caseworker. I figured it was news on the child we want to adopt, but it turned out not to be. Instead, she explained to me that they had an almost 2 year old little boy who needed a foster placement and they were asking us if we would be willing to take him. So, I quickly hung up and called The Hubs. We discussed it and agreed, so we are now parenting an almost 2 year old for however long he needs us! Currently, this placement is only a foster placement and we do not have any idea how long he will be with us. It could be only a few days or it could be much longer. I will let you know when we know! A very quick update from a rather overwhelmed new mommy!

September ICLW

Happy IComLeavWe and welcome to my home on the web! This month's ICLW marks the start of my 4th year participating in ICLW (albeit, I haven't participated every month), so I've done a fair number of the usual intros. This time, I thought I'd do something a little different, so I found a list of 50 get-to-konw-you questions. Now, without further ado:

1. What was your favorite food when you were a child? Hmmm...I would probably have to say Macaroni and cheese. I used to love that stuff! Not so much these days.
2. What’s the #1 most played song on your iPod? At this moment it would probably be "Call Me Maybe" by Carley Rae Jepson, as cliche as that is. Can't help it, just love that song!
3. What is one of your favorite quotes? "When I'm good, I'm very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better." - Mae West
4. What’s your favorite indoor/outdoor activity? That would have to be reading. I love to read and am happy doing it pretty much anywhere.
5. What chore do you absolutely hate doing? I detest washing dishes. We don't have a dishwasher, so this task usually falls to me. I can occassionally get The Hubs to do them for me, but I usually just go ahead and do them.
6. What is your favorite form of exercise? I love going for walks with The Hubs. It's so relaxing to go for a long, scenic walk when the weather is nice. Other than that, I love the eliptical trainer!
7. What is your favorite time of day/day of the week/month of the year? My favourite time of day is the evening (after 6pm), my favourite day of the week is Saturday and my favourite month of the year is November (Thanksgiving, my birthday, our anniversary, cooler weather....I just love it!)
8. What’s your least favorite mode of transportation? This is an odd question to me and a difficult one to answer. I don't really mind most modes of transportation, but I guess my least favourite would have to be boat because of my absolute terror of water.
9. What is your favorite body part? Another odd question. It would have to be either noses or hands. I just think noses tend to be very cute. And I love hands. I think it's the strength in them that shows the character of the person. Definitely an interesting body part.
10. What sound do you love? I love the sound of The Hubs and Pog (our dog). I love the sound of rain on a tin roof. I love the sound of ocean waves crashing. Not the normal favourite sound of someone who has a paralyzing fear of water, eh?
11. If you could throw any kind of party, what would it be like and what would it be for? I would dearly love to have a masquerade ball for our 10th wedding anniversary in November. That would be my ideal, but it definitely won't happen. Oh, well, lol! I'll get over it.
12. If you could paint a picture of any scenery you’ve seen before, what would you paint? The mountains in Chattanooga, TN. Hands down the most gorgeous view I've ever seen.
13. If you could choose to stay a certain age forever, what age would it be? Hmmm...I think it would probably be 24. I was very happy at that time in my life. The Hubs and I were finally together after 2 years of long-distance, were newly married and we were just truly enjoying the novelty of being together. I was still young enough to think life would be wonderful in the future. We had no knowledge of our infertility at that time. My dad was still alive. I had virtually no health problems. Life was just rosey then. Not that I would trade my life now, but if I had to choose to stay one age forever, that would be it.
14. If you knew the world was ending in 2012, what would you do differently? Nothing. I'm very happy with the decisions I've made, what I've accomplished and where I am.
15. If you could choose anyone, who would you pick as your mentor? This depends what capacity of mentor is meant. If it was musically, I would choose Stevie Nicks. I think she's simply a fabulous musician and I have so much respect for her. If I chose a musician to look up to, it would be her. A mentor in life? I really have no idea.
16. If you could witness any event past, present or future, what would it be? For a history buff, this should be an easy question, but it really isn't! Okay, I'm going to be a little selfish here and say my child's first day of kindergarten. I really hope we get that opportunity one day, while mourning the fact that we won't have had that opportunity for the child we're going to adopt.
17. If you could learn to do anything, what would it be? This is an easy answer. Swim. I think it would make me less afraid of water and it's great exercise!
18. If you had to work on only one project for the next year, what would it be? Another difficult question! Um...I guess it would be crocheting the afghan I've been working on forever that's owed to a certain person. I will eventually finish it, I promise!
19. If you were immortal for a day, what would you do? I really don't know. Immortality doesn't really seem that important. Now, if I had superpowers, that would be a different story, lol!
20. If you had to change your first name, what would you change it to? Well, the name I go by is not my first name, so....I might change it to the name I go by. Other than that, I might choose the name Charlotte. I like that name.
21. If you could meet anyone, living or dead, who would you meet? I'd like to see my dad again. He's been gone a little over a year and I really miss him.
22. If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you would do? Honestly, I would buy our dream home. After that, I would pay off the rest of our bills, then give a substantial donation to charities, but first I would buy our home.
23. If you were reincarnated as an animal/drink/ice cream flavor, what would it be? I think I would probably be orange juice. Tart and tangy, but overall very sweet.
24. If you could know the answer to any question, besides “What is the meaning of life?”, what would it be? At the end of our lives, will we overall count ourselves as having been happy?
25. If you could be any fictional character, who would you choose? Wow! Possibly the most difficult question yet! There are so many characters I could choose and for so many different reasons. I guess, though, I would have to say (and I thought it would be a book character here, but turns out it's not)......Rachel Berry. I know. That's pretty sad for a 33-year-old to want to be a teenager, but she has such a bright and full future ahead of her. And on Broadway!! I'd love to be doing it.
26. Which celebrity do you get mistaken for? I can honestly say I have never been mistaken for a celebrity, lol.
27. What do you want to be when you grow up? Hehe! I thought I was grown up! Well, realistically, I'd like to be a teacher. If I were doing my dream job, either a singer or an actress. But I have to be realistic. If I'm lucky, one day I'll get to complete my student teaching and become a teacher.
28. When you have 30 minutes of free-time, how do you pass the time? I usually read. There are other things I should be doing with this time, but reading usually gets the extra time.
29. What would you name the autobiography of your life? Creating My Life The Hard Way. I've gotten many of the things I want in life, but I've always done it the hard way!
30. What songs are included on the soundtrack to your life? "Tub-Thumping" by Chumbawumba, "Daydreamer" by Adele, "Dreams" by Fleetwood Mac, "Home" by Philip Phillips
31. Have you ever had something happen to you that you thought was bad but it turned out to be for the best? When I broke up with my ex before I met The Hubs. It was a terrible end to a terrible relationship and I thought I was devestated. Turned out to be the best thing, though, and I wound up meeting the love of my life soon after.
32. What was one of the best parties you’ve ever been to? The Hubs' company Christmas Party for 2010. It was epic!
33. What was the last movie, TV show or book that made you cry or tear up? Katie (Katie Couric's new talk show) today. She had the mother and sister of Yeardley Love on, talking about her murder and the verdict/sentencing of her murderer. Their pain was evident and it had me choking up.
34. What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever done? Saying goodbye to my dad. Prior to his death, it would have been saying goodbye to my family when I moved to England or saying goodby to The Hubs (then The Boyfriend) when he returned to England before I moved there. I don't do well with goodbyes.
35. What was the last experience that made you a stronger person? Again, this would be my dad's death. I've had to become my mom's pillar. It's been hard, but I've done it. We're both still going and we're going to be okay. Scarred, but okay.
36. What did you do growing up that got you into trouble? Lol, I'm not proud of this, but I once made $250 worth of long-distance prank calls. Needless to say, I was grounded for a long time for that one!
37. When was the last time you had an amazing meal? The last amazing meal I had was probably at The Melting Pot for our anniversary last November. That was an awesome experience!
38. What’s the best/worst gift you’ve ever given/received? Best Received - A lovely garnet bracelet The Hubs gave me when we were dating. I loved it! Unfortunately, it broke a few years ago, so it's in my jewelry box now. Best Given - I gave The Hubs a 5 CD stereo system about 6 years ago. He LOVED it! Worst Received - Almost anytime I'm given clothing, it's a bad idea. My family don't have the same taste in clothing that I do, so I don't tend to like clothing I'm given. I appreciate the effort, just don't generally like the style. Worst Given - Gift cards. I always feel so lame when I give those as gifts.
39. What do you miss most about being a kid? Having so few responsibilities!
40. What is your first memory of being really excited? Going to my oldest brother's graduation from Marine boot camp at Paris Island, SC when I was 4. I was so excited to see him because he'd been gone for several months and I love my brother!
41. What was the first thing you bought with your own money? I really can't remember. Probably candy or a comic book, lol! Possibly school supplies - I still have something of an addiction to those!
42. When was the last time you were nervous? I'm nervous at work everyday. That kind of comes with being miserable in your job.
43. What is something you learned in the last week? That the workday is easier to get through if you just get on with it and stop thinking about it so much.
44. What story does your family always tell about you? The Christmas I was 4, my parents gave me a kitchen playset (you know, with the stove and refrigerator). Well, shortly after receiving this, my mom baked some potatoes and put them in the toy stove. Then she told me the stove had actually cooked the potatoes. I'm ashamed to say that I actually believed this for many years after. My mom takes great joy in telling this story!
45. At what age did you become an adult? 24, when I got married. Had to. I was living in a different country to my family and I had to grow up. I had no choice.
46. Is a picture worth a thousand words? Elaborate. I certainly think so. I mean, look at this face:
    
    Need I say more?
47. Where’s Waldo? Here he is!
48. The best part of waking up is? Is Folgers in your cup!
49. How now brown cow? I honestly can't remember the flippant response to this, so .....yeah. Lol!
50. Whasssssuuuupppppp? Well, since I wrote this and set it to post the night before, I'm headed to be now! TTFN!

Have a great ICLW and be sure to stop back by!