Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Thoughtlessness

The girl that I am covering for at work is due to deliver her twins at any moment. She is having twin boys. She did not undergo any fertility treatment to conceive her twins. She and her husband were not trying to have a baby. She told me that she had not planned on having children for several years but she wasn't upset about it. She wasn't, however, overjoyed by the turn of events. She said she would "deal with it" though. I bit my tongue to keep from telling her how lucky she really was and had no conception of her blessings.

I have to travel around our workplace several times each day to collect the information I need to do my job. Everyone is, of course, very excited about the impending birth. They also, of course, question me about how mother is doing and if the babies have been born yet. I understand their curiousity. I really do. Secretly, though, I wish they would ask our supervisor, our other co-worker, the ladies who clean, the man who repairs the copier, anyone other than me. Its like a knife cutting through me when I have to relay that she started dilating last week, that each twin weighs almost 6 lbs, that mom is on bedrest and is expected to deliver at any time. I know why this duty falls to me and I am happy for her, I just, unfairly, feel a bit resentful.

The fact that we're trying is not a secret. Everyone knows. Yet I keep hearing "don't worry", "when the time's right it will happen", "you're still very young", "you've got plenty of time", "it'll happen when you quit trying" (how this is supposed to work, I'll never know, everytime we BD I think about it!), "the Lord just doesn't think its right for you to have a child right now", "you're too young to be worrying about children" (in the same breath they're saying how great a mother my co-worker is going to be despite being 6 years younger than me), "maybe you're not meant to be a mother", "the Lord knows who needs children and who doesn't". Honestly, these comments range from thoughtless to down-right cruel. Don't they understand that none of these statements help. I would rather they just not mention it, but they feel compelled to comment on it everytime they ask about the impending birth.

Would it be rude to cover my ears and run away screaming when someone makes one of these comments?

1 comments:

A said...

Ugh, it is so tough to hear those comments, isn't it? You're certainly in a tough spot, and I hope that God gives you the endurance and grace to deal with these people while protecting your own heart.

(I found you through Tales of My Follies...stop by my blog any time!)

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