Tuesday, February 1, 2011

RE Visit Review / America's Got Talent / Secret Pal Reveal

I know you've been expecting this for a few days now and I'm sorry to have kept you waiting. I've had a lot going on and have had to get my thoughts under control.

RE Visit Review

Last Thursday I had an appointment with Dr. O. The Hubs and I had been under the impression that this visit was to talk about our options for treatment and to discuss when we were going to begin said treatment. But Dr. O, it seems, had other plans. After having us take an afternoon off work, drive two hours to get to his office, having postponed the appointment by a week stating he needed more than an hour to speak with us, we spend the grand total of 45 minutes in his office (most of it in silence while he pored over our file and wrote notes) only for him to tell us that we were going to keep on as we had been. Nothing was changing. I am to continue taking Pro.vera the first 7 days of each month. He did want some bloodwork done, but that was the only change.

All information that could have been given to me over the phone.

The Hubs asked him if the Pro.vera would help me to ovulate and Dr. O stated that it would not, but that it would fool my body into thinking I was ovulating so I would have a cycle each month. The Hubs and I both left feeling very deflated. When we got outside the building, we were talking and discovered that both of us had been hoping the other would ask when we would be able to start treatment since that had not even been mentioned! So, I decided to call back to Dr. O's office and ask. I spoke with one of his receptionists who stated he was in with a patient, but that she would ask him and call me back that (Thursday) afternoon.

At 9:45am Friday morning - when I still had heard nothing from them - I called back and was put through to his PA, J. J told me that she had spoken with Dr. O about this, but that they couldn't give us a definitive answer about how far we were from starting treatment because it depended on two things: my Hemaglobin A1C level (which was in the bloodwork he had ordered) and me losing some weight. Here is where my frustration comes in. I have been seeing him since last May and everytime the issue of my weight has come up, his response has been that it wasn't a big issue and we would work on it later. Now suddenly, nearly a year later, we're stalled and unable to do treatment because (and I quote) "he doesn't feel comfortable helping you to pursue a pregnancy at your current weight" because "you're at a risk for pre-eclampsia and your diabetes being a problem". Right. Now, I work in the medical field and I ask you, what pregnancy is not at risk for pre-eclampsia and diabetes? They're ALL at risk for those things, that's why we monitor for them!!

I asked J (with steam boiling out of my ears, I might add) how much weight Dr. O was thinking of me needing to shed before we could proceed with treatment and her answer was "we don't really know. We'll just have to see how you're doing when you come back". So they can't even give me a target to shoot for!

I am so angry about this. As I stated earlier, I do work in the medical field, so I am aware that I am overweight. I have been working on my diet because I'm trying to get my glucose levels where they need to be and The Hubs and I have been walking and we've also been talking about joining the gym. I know I need to lose weight and I'm taking steps to do that. But - and I say this with as much decorum as I can - DO NOT HOLD MY LOSING WEIGHT OVER MY HEAD AND TRY TO BLACKMAIL ME INTO IT BY WITHHOLDING FERTILITY TREATMENT BECAUSE OF IT!!!!!!

Sorry about that, but I'm really fucking angry about this. Had he mentioned this from the beginning, it would have been a different thing. I know, I know, I know - I've been in this game long enough that I should have assumed this would be the case, but that doesn't make it any easier for me.

The Hubs and I have talked and will continue talking and praying between now and my next visit with Dr. O on March 10 (The Hubs' birthday), but I think we may look at putting fertility on hold for a while and focus on pursuing adoption. My insurance doesn't pay anything towards our visits with Dr. O, so everything we've done for the last near-year has come out of our pockets financially and that is why it is such devestating news that we have no idea when we'll actually be doing any treatment. I don't mind paying for what we need to have done, but paying with no sign of moving forward frustrates me.


America's Got Talent

This past weekend, The Hubs and I went to Atlanta for the America's Got Talent audition. We had a good time, but we were so tired! We got there at 8:15am and were standing outside until about 10. Once we got in the building, we were expecting there would be chairs or some form of seating equipment (there was last year when we went), but, alas, that was not to be. The only place to sit was the floor. I was wearing black pants, so kept having to take my jacket off (which was also black) to sit on to keep from getting my clothing dirty. Needless to say, we stood a lot more than we sat. We were there from 8:15am until 6:30pm and we sat down about an hour and a half of that time. I've worked retail before, so standing shouldn't have been a problem, but the floors were concrete and there was no padding or carpeting to cushion the floor at all. Not to mention I was in heels.

By the time we got back to our hotel, I was good for nothing but bed. The Hubs and I both fell asleep around 7pm and then woke up around 9pm and ordered pizza (yup, I'm aware that is not good for my diet but, you know what? I was tired, so screw it!). We had a good time just veging out, eating pizza and watching Criminal Minds after the competition.

The singing portion went well, I feel. I sang "Glitter in the Air" by Pink (if you don't know it, go to Youtube and have a listen. It's a beautiful song!

It was a good weekend away and a good audition. I didn't find anything out about whether I'm going through or not. If so, they'll let me know before the end of March. Keep your fingers crossed!

Secret Pal Reveal

January was my first month back hosting Secret Pals. I know I had a great time (I love my Secret Pal! I was already a follower of her blog, so having a whole month to spoil her was great! Having said that....I haven't sent her gift yet, so....Kristin, it'll be on the way to you in the next couple of weeks!!!) and I hope all of you that participated enjoyed it as well. February's Secret Pals starts today, so if you didn't get signed up for this month, but are interested in participating, keep an eye out for the March sign-up which will open around February 14th!

Without further ado, the revelation of January Secret Pals....

Junebug's Musings Secret Pal to Simply Rochelle

Dragondreamer's Lair Secret Pal to Fertility Alphabet Soup

Fertility Alphabet Soup Secret Pal to Getting Closer to Fine

Getting Closer to Fine Secret Pal to The (In)Fertility Diaries

Spermination Station Secret Pal to My Infertility Woes

The (In)Fertility Diaries Secret Pal to Junebug's Musings

My Infertility Woes Secret Pal to Finding Her Way

Simply Rochelle Secret Pal to Wistfulgirl's World

Finding Her Way Secret Pal to Spermination Station

Wistfulgirl's World Secret Pal to Dragondreamer's Lair

There you have it! Have a fantastic day, my bloggy loves!


junebug said...

Thanks for hosting the secret pals. I had a great time and look forward to another fun month.
PS I'm going to send you private email. :-)

Denver Laura said...

This has been so much fun! I found a few new blogs to read and had fun being a secret pal :)

WindDrop said...

Wow, I would have flipped the hell out on the Dr. I'm lucky to have some fertility covered and an RE that never mentions my weight. I actually did IVF with a BMI over 45%.
I have PCOS, sleep apnea, and hypothyroidism. The last year I've been taking Femaprin and added DCI in November. Pretty sure DCI (Chiral Balance) gave me my cycle back, worth a try if you are looking to not deal with RE anymore. Good luck.

tasivfer said...

Um, was he expecting you to be psychic and read that his mind was saying you had to lose weight before he'd let you move forward?!?

Trisha said...

OOHHHHH! Don't get me started on the RE and the weight loss...okay fine I already am started! I have been over weight my entire adult life...thank you very much PCOS! I started seeing and RE when we lived in Florida and that is all I EVER heard...you have to lose weight...blah blah blah. So, I took the extreme measure of having lap-band surgery in April of 2006. I lost about 45 lbs and then started fertility treatment...well, a combo of the meds and not caring about the weight loss let me gain it all back plus some. We moved to Texas and I continued to gain weight. I concieved my precious Trent at my highest weight ever, 324 lbs...I am 5'10. DRUG FREE!! He was truly our miracle and I wanted to go slap all those doctors that said fat people can't get pregnant. I of course carried him for 21 beautiful weeks until my cervix gave out...which had NOTHING to do with my weight. After he was born and died I sought out the help of an RE here in Texas because I didn't want to wait 4 more years to get pregnant again. Well, as it would go the grieving was not good for my weight and I ballooned up to 332 lbs. I decided I would quickly reach 400 if I kept on this path...so, I joined a gym and worked out for HOURS every single day...7 days a week. It was extreme but it was the only thing that helped deal with the grief. I lost 90 lbs in just over six months. I concieved three times in those six months...two early miscarriages and now my sweet Ian who I am 21w4d pregnant with. I don't know if the 90 lbs helped or not...but, I did feel better. But, needless to say I have now gotten pregnant 4 times all on my own with no help from those dumb doctors. That was very long...sorry!!

Amber said...

I would be FURIOUS!!! What a (pardon me) jackass!!! Do you have any other options, doctor-wise? Not that I'm trying to sway you away from adoption, that is. I'm quite fond of it. Anyway, you're justified to be upset. Next time you see that doc, have a 'seizure' and make sure you hit his crotch with a limb. :)

Rochelle said...

I am sorry that your RE is being so passive aggressive about your weight! Do you have another option for RE's in the area? And also, I am so relieved to see that you have actually not sent out your secret pal gift either because I have yours sitting on my table now. Since we got a bunch of ice and then snow, it may take me a few days to get back out to the post office. I've got my fingers crossed for Thursday. I am a pretty recent follower and I must say, I'm hooked. I feel invested right along with you. I hope that in March I'll have a little bit more time and can participate in secret pals again!

Kakunaa said...

Oh, boy...I will start with Secret Pals - fun stuff! I'm looking forward to this month as well :) And getting more into a roll with it...

Competition - really, no seating? Grrr. Glad you had fun, though!

Your RE. I want to smack him. Seriously. I'm not even going to vent as much as I would like to because it won't solve anything. But I feel for you. HUGS. So sorry for the agony of that visit!

lowfatlady said...

Ugh, I am so sorry your doc was such a butt head. I would be mad too. Would you be up for a second opinion?

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Thanks for joining the A to Z Challenge! It's a blast.

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