2010 - That's a Wrap!

So we come to the end of another year and I thought I'd take a moment to reflect on what this year has brought us. It's been a year of ups and downs; good moments and bad.

We started the year our with The Hubs still looking for a job and he, fortunately, found that job in February. That was some of our first bits of great news. After that, my department at work expanded and I was promoted to Supervisor and received a raise! These two bits of great news meant we could finally pursue a referral to the RE.

Of course, that led to some of the not so great news, like my diagnoses of diabetes, hypothyroidism, sleep apnea and hyperplasia. And the D&C for the hyperplasia. Not to mention me finally breaking down and having that MRI of my ankle done and finding out I'll have to have surgery on it. All that after starting the year with the baby from our adoption being born and the adoption definitely falling through and the chaos that went with it.

I feel, for the most part though, that even these things had their positives. Now knowing what all the problems I'm facing are, I have the opportunity to work on them and hopefully get them to a place where we can achieve a pregnancy. And having gone through the pain of a failed adoption, I know I can face most anything.

That leads us onto what 2011 has in store. I'll first give you a quick update from my endocrinologist appointment yesterday. Basically, I've had my Metformin and Synthroid doses increased (from 1500mg Met to 2000mg and from 25mcg Synthroid to 75mcg), she's added a new medication (Actos) to the mix and given me an easy-to-follow diet plan. I've also been given lots of information on both Type II Diabetes and Hashimoto's Thyroiditis and hope that Actos will assist in helping me ovulate. Lots of good things to look forward to. I actually feel really hopeful for next year. I feel it may be our year - we're on track with treatment, all our parents are now aware we're trying - it just seems a much more positive way to start the year.

The best analogy I can give for why I have such high hopes for 2011? Remember our chihuahua (technically my mom's) that went missing 4 days ago? Well, guess who showed up this morning around 4am. Yup, he's home! I feel that's a sign to hope for and expect the best in the coming year. His return is our sign of better things coming to us in the New Year!

Happy 2011 to you all!

Home Alone

I've been home alone today. Why, you ask? Well, I was supposed to be at work today, but my body had other plans. I woke up this morning with a very sore throat, a painful chest, an upset stomach and running a fever. Not a good combination for work. So, I called in and The Hubs left me to head on in to his own workplace. He did come home for lunch and brought me a bite to eat, but then he had to go back to work. He's actually on his way home now.

What have I done with my day? Well, I've slept a lot. I've played online a bit. I started a new blog - one that is okay for real life family and friends to follow (I really don't want my school friends or family members reading about what's happening with my uterus, thank you very much). And now I'm writing a post on here. After this, I think I will try to crochet for a little bit before heading back to bed. I still feel no better than I did this morning and, while my fever had gone away earlier, it's now back with a vengeance.

We've had a rather sad week in the Wistful household. One of my mom's chihuahuas went missing the other day. He is the newest chihuahua (born earlier this year), but he was extremely active and hyper. He was let out to use the restroom on Sunday night, however, our dog Melly (the beagle hound who lives outside - she has a fenced in area) is in heat and there were several other large male dogs around. Merlin (the chihuahua) ran off with them and he hasn't returned. My mom thinks he may have been killed by the other dogs, but I'm hoping someone saw him and took him in. I'd much prefer he be with someone else than to think he was dead. I love that dog a lot!

Anyway, as I said, it's been a downer week at our house. I work a half day tomorrow and then I have a doctors appointment with the endocrinologist. My blood sugar is staying too high, so I have to go and see what she thinks I should do. Pray she doesn't stick me on insulin injections! I really don't want to have to do that.

We're supposed to attend a New Year's Eve party at The Hubs' boss' house Friday night, but if I'm still feeling this poorly, we may have to give it a pass. What are your plans for New Year's Eve?

Hugs,

Merry Christmas!

Today has been a good day in the Wistful household. We've been over at my mom's house and, although she's been sick and moody, we had a good time. We had a nice meal (turkey, ham, dressing, potato salad and mustard greens) and opened gifts. My mom, dad, brother, niece, The Hubs and I were present for the meal and my sister and niece joined us for the gift exchange. The Hubs and I had done our own gift exchange before we left home.

While I got some really lovely gifts, the holiday felt a little empty. It's nice watching my nieces open their gifts, but I want our own little one in the middle of the fray. I was talking with The Hubs earlier today and I said how much I hope at the end of each year that we'll have a child to join us for the next year. I also said I didn't know if wanting a child so desperately but not believing it would really happen was keeping it from being so. However, I also said that, if I really truly believe with all my heart it will happen and it doesn't, I would be so much more devestated during the holidays. I truly don't know which would be worse.

The more I long for a child and it doesn't happen, the harder and harder it becomes to believe in my heart it will happen one day. I'm hopeful for 2011 because so many things have changed. Firstly, we are seeing an RE now and we've fixed/are in the process of fixing a lot of the problems that have been plaguing me, so that offers hope. Also, our job situations are so much better now than they have been anytime in the last five years, with both of us employed in seemingly steady jobs. And The Hubs has finally told his family that we're trying. Surely all these positives should add up to a positive year, right? I keep hoping, but I often feel foolish for doing so.

It's difficult to explain this to anyone outside the IF community. Even family members who wish us the best can't understand the feeling of desperation and emptiness that accompany the holidays for us. I've always been a huge fan of the fall and winter holiday season - in fact, I'd go so far as to say this has always been my favorite time of year. But in the last few years, it's become less and less so because of what we're missing.

My youngest niece is 9 now. There are only a couple more years left of that true childhood magic Christmas brings. I want our child to be here before that's over for Bug (youngest niece). I want them to share something the way she and Boop (older niece) did. I want them to have that connection. I know it's a tenuous connection, and probably one that is only in my head, but it's improtant to me. I don't want there to be this whole generation gap between them. And I don't want to feel jealous any longer of the joy I see on my sister's and brother's faces when they watch their children enjoying the Christmas magic. I'm praying for a miracle this next year.

Now, I've whined long enough. I'll wrap this post up by wishing each of you the most wonderful holiday season! I pray you each had a safe and joyous Christmas. I'm now going to enjoy the evening with my wonderful husband by watching A Christmas Carol and enjoying a glass of sparkling white grape juice mixed with champagne. Enjoy the rest of your Christmas evening!

December ICLW

I know I'm technically a day early with this post, but I decided I'd go ahead and get it posted so it would be ready first thing in the morning.

Welcome to all ICLWers! My name is Lynn, I'm 32 and married to a great guy (referred to on here as The Hubs). We've been TTCing for 7 years, but so far nada. I suffer from PCOS, lost my right tube to an enormous ovarian cyst 4 years ago and, in the last year, have been diagnosed with sleep apnea, diabetes, hypothyroidism and complex hyperpl.asia. I have recently (last week) been given the all clear on the hyperpl.asia front and, so, The Hubs and I will hopefully be officially starting fertility treatment in January (we've been seeing our RE for 8 months and, prior to our referral, took 4 rounds of Cl.omid and a round of Fema.ra with my OB/GYN).

On a positive note, it seems The Hubs is in stupendous condition and should have no problems fathering a child, assuming my body decides to work semi-correctly =D Also in the column of good news, The Hubs finally did it! He told his parents this past weekend that we are going to be undergoing fertility treatment! This may not sound like such a huge deal to you, however, in the seven years we've been trying, his family have never been aware. Therefore, I'm pretty darn excited about his accomplishment.

A bit about me? I love to read, crafty projects (particularly crocheting and scrapbooking), Glee, singing, dancing and spending time with The Hubs and our dogs. I'm currently in school working on my bachelor's degree in Social Sciences with a concentration in education - I'm hoping to be a teacher in a couple of years. I'm about half-way through my degree and I currently have a 3.94 GPA. I'm very proud of this, if you couldn't tell ;D

I truly adore my blogging buddies and I'm interested in meeting new friends, so please be sure to leave me a comment! Also, I'm starting to plan my reading list for next year, so if you have a suggestions of great books (I love thrillers, fantasy and drama, such as Jodi Picoult, Nicholas Sparks and Barbara Delinsky, but I'm always open to new books!), please feel free to leave them in the comments section! TTFN!

It's Baaaaccck! - January 2011 Secret Pal Sign- Up

Okay, folks! I have decided to start secret pals up again. Lots of people seemed to really enjoy participating in the fun, so I thought we'd try it again!

To refresh your memory, here's how it works:

1. You sign up by filling out this form. Sign up will be open until December 27, 2010.

2. By December 31st, I'll send out your Secret Pal name!

3. On January 1st, the fun commences! You'll visit your secret pals blog (if you already visit - great! If not - you find a new blog! It's a win/win situation) frequently throughout the month, send them an email if they have good news, bad news or just need some support and sometime during month, you'll send them a gift to their home. The gift doesn't need to be anything huge, just a little something to say you're thinking of them.

4. On January 31st, we'll reveal our secret pals!

5. Sign-up for February will open between January 15th and 17th.

There you have it! Easy-peasy fun :D I do have a link for this, but it's not available to me at the moment, so I'll post it either later today or tomorrow. And for those who sign up before I get it up on my blog, I'll even email it to you!

The Biopsy Results Are In And.....

There is NO HYPERPLASIA!!! The PA at my RE's office called me and said the results were back and it was all clear; we are a-okay! I am so, so pleased! What a great Christmas gift :D

The plan for now is for me to stop Megace immediately. I should start a cycle in the next few days (I've been spotting since the biopsy anyway) and then on January 1, I will take Pro.vera (not Megace - yay, Yay, YAY!) for 7 days. This will be the program for the next few months - Pro.vera for 7 days to start AF. We have an appointment with Dr. O on January 20 and we'll be asking all our questions regarding what we'll be doing as far as infertility treatment goes. Hopefully, we'll get some good answers.

Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers! I'm completely convinced all the prayers that were said are behind this great result :D

Doctor Visit Update

I had my visit with Dr. O yesterday to do the repeat biopsy from my D&C way back in July. I think it all went well, but I obviously won't know the results until next week. I'm to continue taking Meg.ace until he tells me differently. He did say he removed a lot of tissue with the biopsy, but he's thinking that may just be what was being held in because of the Meg.ace. Fingers crossed it's good news next week!

He did say that, assuming we get the good news we're hoping for, things still won't be moving very rapidly. He wants to try several months of me taking Meg.ace for seven days a month until my cycle becomes normal. My concern is that, for my cycle to become normal, I would have to be ovulating. Since my body doesn't do that on its own and he isn't planning to give me any medication to help me ovulate, aren't we just going to be going in circles? Is my cycle ever going to regulate if I'm not ovulating? And, if that's the case, are we ever going to get to do fertility treatment?

I'm just feeling very frustrated because we've been seeing him for 8 months so far and we haven't yet been able to do any treatment for the infertility problem. I understand why that hasn't happened so far, what with the hyper.plasia, but surely if the biopsy results come back normal we can get on with things, right? Am I being too impatient?

Wednesday Weekly Writing Challenge

Each week you'll be given a new topic on which to write. Your challenge, should you choose to take it, is to create a new blog post expounding on this topic and link to the bottom of this post sometime between today and Saturday night. Visit other posters to read their thoughts and spread the joy of commenting.

This week's topic: What was your all-time favourite Christmas/Hannukah/Twelfth Night/etc. gift and why?

My all-time favourite Christmas gift was a baby doll I received the Christmas I was 10. She was one of the "real" babies and was the most expensive gift I had ever owned. I named her Brittany Anne (a name later stolen by my brother to name my niece). My sister gave me a brass baby bed to have for her. I thought I had gotten the best thing ever. I still have her today, although she is worse for wear and the brass baby bed didn't make it. When I dream of perfect Christmases, this one tops my list! It was also the first Christmas we had foster children living in our home, but that's a story for another time. Ciao!

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What's the Skinny, Lynnie?

You may be wondering what grand business has held my rapt attention for the last couple of months and kept me away from you. Well, I'm here to tell you it was.....really nothing. Not a lot has happened, I just needed a little bit of a break from blogging, but now I'm back to it. In case you were supremely and voraciously interested in what had been going on in my life the last couple of months, I will try to update you.

Second Six Week D&C Follow-Up

As you may remember from my last updating post, I was waiting for AF to come along. It took two rounds of Megace and stop to bring the ole' gal on but she finally arrived. And proceeded to stay for 3 weeks! Had to start Megace back to stop her. Dr O wanted me to be on Megace for 10 days and then stop. Or at least that's what I was told. When I had been off the Megace again for 10 days and called to find out what my next move was, I was told that he had wanted me to take the Megace for another 40 days, not 10. I had been told differently, but they said I misunderstood. Not sure what happened, but I, nonetheless, was once again started on Megace to go for 30 days and then have another endo.metrial biopsy to see if hyper.plasia is still present. After all this backing and forthing and waiting, that biopsy will happen this Friday. Cross your fingers for some good news, please! I'm hoping no hyper.plasia is present and we can finally get started on our fertility treatment with the RE. I'll also finally be seeing the regular endocrin.ologist on December 30 for my escalating sugar levels. Hoping I get good news there!

Work

We have now hired two more people to replace the one who moved to another department and the one who was let go. They're currently still training, but I think they'll do okay. I also now have a new boss. My old boss decided she wanted to slow down after being asked by her husband to do so. Her last day was earlier this month and another staff member who had been the manager of my area before moved back to the position. I like her and I think I'll get on well with her. I'm still supervising my little department, but she is who I will answer to.

Birthday

So another year has passed and I am now officially 32 years old. I was on vacation the week of my birthday. I spent the day with my mom visiting doctor's offices. Fun stuff, really.

Anniversary

In addition to celebrating another birthday, The Hubs and I also celebrated another anniversary. We have now been married 8 years. Since my anniversary is the day after my birthday, I was still on vacation, so I made chili for The Hubs' office (he had to work) and carried it up. The Hubs and I had lunch together and I treated his office as well. A good job, I feel.

Thanksgiving and Vacation Trip

In that same vacation week, we celebrated Thanksgiving (my birthday was Monday, November 22, anniversary was Tuesday, November 23) and left for our vacation trip to Helen, GA. Thanksgiving was good. We celebrated with my mom, dad and brother. Then, after the meal, we left headed for our break. We rented a cabin in Helen, GA for the weekend. It was marvelous! The cabin was beautiful and very private. We saw the official lighting of the town for Christmas and saw a beautiful waterfall! We had our pup, Isabel, with us and just generally had a fabulous time. Really glad we did it.

My ankle

A few posts back you may have seen the photo of my swollen ankle. As I think I mentioned then, this is something that I've been suffering with off and on for 2 years. Well, I finally gave in and got my regular doctor to order an MRI of my ankle. The results? 3 chronically torn ligaments, the talar dome (weight-bearing bone) has a bad lesion and is impending collapse. Bloody fantastic news! (*Note: You should have read extreme sarcasm in that statement!) My regular doc referred me to an orthapedic surgeon and 3 visits and one CAT scan later, it looks like I will probably be having surgery on my ankle in either late March or early April. We are looking at the possibility of me getting away with the lighter surgery (laprascopic clean-out) rather than the more in-depth surgery (they would cut through my ankle bone, clear out the bad bone and replace it with cadaver bone). The difference is that with the laprascopic surgery, I would probably only be out of work for about 6 weeks, while with the other, there would be no weight-bearing on that ankle at all for 3 months. Please say a prayer we can successfully do the laprascopic sugery!

You may be asking why we're waiting so long to do the surgery and that leads to my last bit of news:

I'm going to Vegas!!!!

Yup, you read that right! The Hubs' boss is taking the entire office to Las Vegas in early March and I'm going with him. I only have to purchase my plane ticket (The Hubs' is already taken care of) and the room is paid for. Now, we'll also have to pay for food and entertainment, but, come on, how many times in your life do you get half of a Vegas trip paid for? I am super-duper excited and really looking forward to the trip. The Hubs and I are going to try to see a Cirque du Soleil show while we're there. If anyone has any other suggestions of things that are a must for us to do, please let me know!

So that's what I've been up to. I told you there wasn't really much of interest happening. On a side note, I'm thinking of starting Secret Pals back up in January. What do you think? I'm also planning to make my New Year's resolution to complete things I start in relation to things I do in my leisure time. I'm good about finishing my work projects, but I'm pretty flaky when it comes to my personal projects. I want to work on this more over the next year. I feel it'll help me relax some and possibly be more healthy. Hope all my lovely bloggy buds are doing great!

Christmas Ornament Exchange

I know, I know. I've been away for far too long without any explanation and, sadly, I'll offer no explanation or update just at the moment (nothing exciting has happened, trust me), but I do promise to come back later and write a long post.

Right now though, since I'm running incredibly late getting this up and am quickly running out of time, I figured I would go ahead and put up the link to the sign up for the Christmas Ornament Exchange. So, if you're interested in partcipating, please sign up this week! The deadline to sign up is this Friday, December 10, 2010 (I did say I was sorry for the short notice!) and I'll send out the exchange buddies on Saturday, December 11, 2010. We'll aim to get all the ornaments in the mail by December 15, 2010.

Hope you're all having a fabulous holiday season!