The Revelation of March Secret Pals (And a Mini Cycle Update)

Thank you so much for those who participated in March Secret Pals! I had a great time and I hope you all did too! Without further ado, here is a list of the Secret Pal match-ups for March (names on the left are the Secret Pal visiting/gifting the name on the right - and to protect privacy, only the blog names are used):

Not a Fertile Myrtle Secret Pal to Find Joy Now

The Babbling Bitter (infertile) Bitch Secret Pal to Wistfulgirl's World

Parenthood For Me Secret Pal to Not A Fertile Myrtle

Life With Endometriosis and PCOS Secret Pal to Built In Birth Control

Semi-Fertile Secret Pal to The Babbling Bitter (infertile) Bitch

Slaying, Blogging, Whatever Secret Pal to Confessions of an (Infertile) Shopaholic

Confessions of an (Infertile) Shopaholic Secret Pal to Life Happens When You're Making Other Plans

Find Joy Now Secret Pal to Parenthood For Me

Big Belly or Bust Secret Pal to The Infertility Diaries

Life Happens When You're Making Other Plans Secret Pal to Life With Endometriosis and PCOS

Built In Birth Control Secret Pal to Big Belly or Bust

The Infertility Diaries Secret Pal to Semi-Fertile

Wistfulgirl's World Secret Pal to Slaying, Blogging, Whatever

Be sure to go by and thank your Secret Pal for their love this month! I'm currently working on matching up pals for April's fun and I'll be sending that out in the next couple of days. We have increased our number of participants this time from 13 for March to 24 for April! I'm excited about that and I hope we'll all have a great time.

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Just to update you a bit on where I'm at with my cycle now, I tested on Thursday and got a BFN. Spotted all day Thursday. Woke Friday to a very slight temp decline and some spotting Friday morning. As Friday progressed, spotting stopped entirely. Had some cramping and a serious backache. Woke this morning to a greater temp decline (but still well above my coverline), another BFN and some more spotting. Another serious backache as well. Went back to sleep for 2 hours and when I awoke, spotting had stopped completely, although my back is still hurting terribly badly. That's where I am now - 12 DPO with stop and start spotting, a serious backache, a bit of a temp drop and still no AF. My LP is usually 11 or 12 days, so if she's coming, she's due anytime now. I'm hoping she stays away, but I'm not very optimistic. Surely if I were pregnant I'd be getting a BFP by now, right?

Stay tuned to this blog for our next installment of the Days of Our Cycle!

Cycle Update

I thought I would give you all a quick update on where I am with my cycle. So I had some light spotting yesterday - just one time when I went to the restroom there was some pinky red spotting - then today my temp shot up some. FF still has me ovulating on CD27 and I now think maybe that's right.

I had some more spotting today - three or four different times of orangy-pinky-red spotting - and I've had a lot of low back pain and a bit of cramping. There is a burning sensation in my lower right back area near my right ovary. This tends to be how AF starts for me, so I think I'm probably out. I'm only 9DPO today, so, if it is AF, my LP has shortened even more! My usual LP is only 11-12 days, so this is a new short.

I don't know what to think. I'm thinking AF is just around the corner and that makes me feel really crummy. I'm going to test Friday morning (at 11DPO) if no AF tomorrow. Please say a prayer for me.

The Interminable Wait

First off let me welcome those of you stopping by for ICLW! I'm Lynn, 31 years young, married to The Hubs, been TTC for 6 years with never even a hint of two pink lines. I'm glad you decided to stop by and visit me! You can read more about my TTC history here, here, here and here. We've been through a lot on our journey to be parents, but we're confident one day we'll be blessed with a child of our own, either biologically or through adoption or both. I'm currently in the midst of a confusing cyle where I tried Femara and it produced many good follies and Fertility Friend seems to think I've ovulated but I'm not totally convinced. My temps haven't gone up much yet.

I'm feeling very down today. As I said above, I'm still not totally certain I've ovulated because my temps are still fairly low and I really wanted this month to produce results. I called my doctor's office again yesterday and was basically told that, with the results from the u/s, I definitely ovulated and to just calm down and not stress. That's easier said than done! I don't feel calm at all. I feel really quite desperate. I realize it's silly, but I'm really feeling the slipping away of days with regards to fertility at the moment. I don't know why I'm feeling this way. It's like it's eating away at me - more than usual!

I've also been so incredibly tired the last few days. I feel very emotional. I just want to find somewhere to lay down and cry myself to sleep. I'm guessing this must be side effects to Femara - I know I was a bit like this with Clomid as well. I just wish something would give so I could know definitely that I've ovulated and then test to find out yes or no and move on.

To top it all off, I've been very, very stressed at work lately. The new project I'm heading up will go live on April 5, so I'm in the final planning stages and it feels like everything is still up in the air! I have so much to get done and no time to do it in and other departments keep dumping their work on me because they don't want to handle it. I feel a bit crazy and panicked.

Having said all that, The Hubs and I did get away this past weekend for a break with my mom. The three of us went to Savannah, GA and just relaxed a little (although, on returning home, I had massive amounts of schoolwork to get completed for last night. Oh, yeah, forgot to mention my current class is a nightmare class!). We went to City Market and River Street on Saturday. Ate at Olive Garden (my fav!) on Saturday night. Had a lovely rest at the Courtyard by Marriott, then had breakfast at IHOP and spent Sunday at Keller's Flea Market where I found some excellent deals on designer handbags (the real deal too! None of that knock-off crap!). I'll be returning in a few weeks to purchase some for Christmas gifts!

One last bit of news (and this time it's good!): I've been invited by my University to join Alpha Sigma Lambda, the honors society! I've maintained a 4.0 for over a year and, so, I'll be joining. I'm very pleased with that :D

Don't forget to sign up for April Secret Pals!

A Link Button!

Yes, indeedy! I have finally made a link button for next month's Secret Pals! If you would like to retrieve it and add it to your page, you can do so here.

Here is a preview:



As you can see, I've added it to my sidebare over there ---->. Hope you like it!

April Secret Pals

It's that time again! Sign up for the April Secret Pals is now officially open.

Here's how it works:

1. You sign up by filling out this form. Sign up will be open until March 26, 2010.

2. Sometime over the weekend of March 27/28, I'll send out your Secret Pal name!

3. On April 1, the fun commences! You'll visit your secret pals blog (if you already visit - great! If not - you find a new blog! It's a win/win situation) frequently throughout the month, send them an email if they have good news, bad news or just need some support and sometime during month, you'll send them a gift to their home. The gift doesn't need to be anything huge, just a little something to say you're thinking of them.

4. On April 25, we'll reveal our secret pals!

5. Assuming all goes smoothly and everyone is enjoying the proceedings, sign-up for May will open in mid-April.

I am working on a linkie button for this project, but since we lost our old laptop, I also lost my Paint Shop Pro (and no longer have the disc it was on, sadly), so I'm trying to find something else I can use to create a passable link button. Please spread the word on your blogs! We had 13 participants for March.....let's see if we can increase that number!

Waiting Game

I still haven't O'd yet, so on Wednesday I called and spoke to Nurse Happy. I asked her if there was anything I needed to do. I am petrified of the follies turning into cysts instead of doing what they're supposed to do. She told me not to panic because the "24 to 72 hours until O" was only a guesstimate and that we should just continue doing our "homework". She said Dr. Bashful had reviewed the u/s and seen lots of good looking follies (more than I had been told about), so she felt very good about this cycle.

Since I had not yet received a call about my RE appointment I also asked Nurse Happy about it. She said that Dr. Bashful wanted to hold off on the referral until we see how this cycle turns out. She reiterated that Dr. Bashful feels very good about this cycle. I'm crossing my fingers and hoping she's right!

The Hubs and I are off on date night tonight. The plan is to go to the cinema to see Remember Me, the new Rob Pattinson flick. I'm really excited, as you all know of my HUGE crush on Rob Pattinson. I know, I know....I'm sad really, but that's okay! The Hubs understands ;D I'll try to put a review up on At The Movies With Wistfulgirl tomorrow.

Tonight is kind of in celebration of The Hubs' birthday which was this past Wednesday, but we're planning to go away next weekend to really celebrate. His birthday was very low-key on the actual day with the exception that his office bought him a cake and card. I got him a card, but he didn't want a present. He said, instead, he would prefer to save the money and do something special while we're away. I'm looking forward to next weekend!

I actually have something that I'd like to rant about, but I'm not sure who's reading this blog and I want to be able to throw my tantrum and get it out without it coming back to bite me in the you-know-what. So, for now (because if Blogger allows you to password protect a single post, I don't know how to do it), I'll refrain. It's nothing to do with anyone or anything online. It's a personal thing. I just get so darn frustrated with people in my life sometimes!

Hope you all have a fantastic weekend!

Random Tidbits

Last week after The Hubs got his new job, we decided to reinstate our weekly date night. So, last Friday night The Hubs and I went to the movies to see Shutter Island and last night we saw Alice in Wonderland in 3-D. I really enjoyed both movies, but, in addition, I decided if we were going to be going to the cinema more often again, I would finally start my movie review blog. So, if you're interested to see my thoughts on either of these movies (along with recommendations!), please visit At The Movies With Wistfulgirl.

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I'm on CD18 now, 3 days past my monitoring u/s and still have no temp rise indicating O. I'm getting a little worried. I know that's silly because Lovely Ultrasound Tech Lady saw the follie and the egg, but I just worry that it will turn into a cyst and not release the egg. I'm so used to being disappointed that I won't be able to relax any until I get a confirmed temp rise. Who am I kidding?! Like I'll really relax during the 2ww? Yeah, right!

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Something that will keep me busy during the 2ww (assuming it ever gets here!) is the project I'm involved with at work. I've not really been able to get around to visiting my bloggy buds lately because it's taking up so much of my time, both work time and personal time.

Without going into too many identifying details, we are about to undergo a HUGE change at our hospital. It will completely change the way one process is enacted. I am heading up this change, since technically it was my idea.

I was in a meeting a few months ago and someone mentioned we needed a new system for handling this certain process. So, being me, after the meeting I wrote down my thoughts on how the process could be changed. The next time this committee meeting was held, I presented my thoughts to the committee (of which I am a part) and to our CEO. They all loved the idea and wanting to implement it. Which is fantastic! Except that they then handed it back to me and said "Sort it out and tell us when you're starting it"!

Now, this project is the reason for my promotion and pay raise, so I'm not complaining about it. I'm grateful to be given the opportunity and to have the trust put into me. It's just that it is taking a lot of my time and I am exhausted! The start date for the new project is April 5th, so between now and then I will be a lax commentor. After we start, the next couple of months will probably also be just as hectic, but I'm hoping I'll be able to get back to visiting my friends' more frequently. In the meantime, please forgive me! I still love ya'll!

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Funny story I forgot to tell you all about a meal out The Hubs and I had while we were away for my audition a couple of weeks ago. We had decided to go to the Hard Rock Cafe for our evening meal. It was a Saturday in Atlanta, so we expected the restaurant to be hopping and we knew we'd have a wait. We were told our wait would be about 45 to 50 minutes. We said that would be fine. So we waited. And waited.

Finally, after about 2 hours, we were led to our table. I was not in the greatest of tempers by this time. I don't mind waiting, but don't lie to me about how long we'll be waiting! Just give it to me straight and I'll be okay with that. So I was a bit unhappy when our unnaturally peppy waitress came to take our order.

The Hubs ordered his drink and then I ordered mine. "Can I get a pina colada?" I asked. Now, it's not often I have a drink. I'm not totally against drinking, but this was CD4 and it had been a long day and we'd had a long wait and we were having a break and I just thought "Bugger it! I'm having a pina colada!"

"Sure!" answers our waitress. "Can I see your ID?!"

Again, I'm not stupid. I know places that serve alcohol are supposed to card you, but it had been a long day! I had left my ID at the hotel, 3 blocks away.

"Um...I actually forgot my ID. But I'm 31 years old. I can give you my date of birth!"

"Hmm?! I'm not sure?! I'll have to get our manager and ask him!"

"Okay," said I. "That's fine. If he needs any information, I'll be glad to answer any questions he has."

"Okay!" answered our waitress. Off she goes. Ten minutes later she walks back by. "I can't seem to locate the manager! Would you like to keep waiting?!"

The Hubs still did not have his drink at this point, so I said no and asked for a tea instead. A few minutes later she brought out our drinks.

"I still can't find the manager! Do you want to keep waiting?!" I thought I had already answered that question.

"No. I'll just stick with the tea, thanks. Could we order now please?" So we ordered and a little while later we got our food.

The food was very good and I'm not upset that the waitress carded me, but I asked The Hubs and I ask you now - do I really look like a teenager?!?! If so, I'm extremely pleased, lol! And our waitress was really too incredibly peppy for my taste!

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I guess I've rambled enough for tonight! I'm off now to get food and watch telly with The Hubs! Love to you all, my bloggy pals!

And the Ultrasound Revealed.....

.....two decent follies and one extremely promising one! I'm incredibly pleased!

So the appointment started off with the usual weight and blood pressure check. I've lost another 2 pounds so that's great! Then the nurse (who is not my favorite and shall from here on out be called Nurse Grumpy - my favorite nurse, who I didn't get to see today, I will call Nurse Happy) sent me back to the waiting room because all the rooms were full. It was really busy today. About 20 minutes later, Nurse Grumpy called me back.

I got settled into my room and waited. And waited. And waited some more. They were incredibly busy! Finally, my doctor (who I shall now call Dr. Bashful - she's this amazingly lovely Indian doctor, but she's very quiet. Btw, I'm kind of sticking with the Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs theme for now) came in to see me and spoke to me briefly. She asked me if I felt like I had been ovulating. I told her that I had had some pain, but that I wasn't really very optimistic because the OPK's I'd been taking had shown a very light control line but a completely stark white test line. Dr. Bashful said she wanted me to do the ultrasound anyway and see what it showed. I also told her The Hubs had found employment and that we were now ready for our RE referral, so she got Nurse Happy started on that (although I didn't get to see or speak to her). Dr. Bashful then led me back into the hall to wait. A couple of minutes later my favorite ultrasound tech (now to be known as Lovely Ultrasound Tech Lady - what? The streak had to end somewhere! I was running out of dwarves!) came to retrieve me from the hallway and she led me into the ultrasound room.

When we got in there, she handed me the paper blanket and said with a smile "you know the drill", then she left the room while I got out of my pants and undies. Momentarily she returned and we got started. She asked me if I was still taking Clo.mid and I told her no, that we had tried Fe.mara this cycle, but I didn't think it had worked. Again, I explained the negative OPK's to Lovely Ultrasound Tech Lady and that I wasn't going to be too disappointed when the u/s showed no follies. Her response? "Well, that's good, but I hate to disappoint you. You've got about 8 follies on the left ovary - although only two of them are of a measurable size. They are 1.3 cm and 1.5 cm, so kind of small, but still large enough they can continue to grow and ovulate." Then she smiled really big and said "Oh and you have a really, really good looking one on the right ovary. It measures at 3.8 cm and there's a little white thing in it. That's the egg. You should expect to ovulate within the next 24 to 72 hours, so you know what your homework is!"

I couldn't believe it! I really didn't expect any follies and to have 3 possibles and one of those being 3.8 cm?! On the right ovary?! During all the time we've done treatment, since I had the cyst removed from my right ovary, I've never had a follie from that side at all. So I'm extremely excited about this one and really impressed with Fe.mara!

Now, we just BD like crazy for the next few days and then cross fingers and pray for a miracle in two weeks time! Please say a prayer for us and cross your fingers and toes!

Btw, The Hubs is currently working on getting all the Secret Pal emails out. You should have them tonight or tomorrow night at the latest!

A Quick Note

Just a short note to let those of you who signed up for March Secret Pals know that I haven't forgotten you! Barring anything unforeseen deterring my path, you should have your pals tonight. I'm sorry they're late! I had gotten tied up with something at work that's been taking all my spare time (including over this past weekend) but, with the help of The Hubs, I should have them out to you tonight!

Also, I have my ultrasound this afternoon to see if the Fe.mara has produced any follies. I hope they see several, but my OPK's haven't showed anything on the test line yet. Not even a shadow of a line. It's completely stark white apart from the control line. I don't know if this means I'm not going to O or if the tests just don't work for me. Guess I'll know more this afternoon!