Dear Anonymous Co-Worker (and by co-worker, I technically mean underling since I am your boss, lest you forget that),
A few things to remember as you traverse your days in this office:
- While I understand that, for you, the world revolves around your child(ren), please understand that, for the rest of us, your child is just another child. Not the end all and be all of children.
- Please remember that, although to us your child is not the end all and be all, we do respect that, for you, she is. Please hold that same respect for the other people in this office (or formerly in this office).
- Please also remember that life is a two-way street. If you dish it out, be prepared to take it.
- When you talk about your friends' children being prettier, better, more intelligent, etc. than my friend's (your former co-worker's) children, realize that I'm going to take offense at that and that, given the mood I've been in lately, I'm likely to lash back out at you.
- Please also remember that, despite them being your friend, if you choose to speak ill of my friend (again, your former co-worker) or her children, I am likely to have something to say to you about them.
- Just because you are who you are does not give you the right to say/do whatever you want without consequences.
- Just because we usually get along very well also does not give you free reign to do as you please without repercussions.
- Going back to the issue of your child, when she is in our office, please do not let her write on, cut with scissors, colour on with highlighters, tear to pieces, break or in any other way destroy my desk or possessions. This is intensely likely to PISS ME OFF!
- Finally, please remember to have as much respect for other people as you demand and, indeed, are obnoxiously angry about if they don't show you. As far as I'm concerned, everyone in this office or related to this office is equal. You do not have the right in this office to act superior to anyone.