Show and Tell - Vol 7 - A Little Hope

Before you go to sleep,
Say a little prayer,
Every day in every way,
It's getting better and better,

Beautiful,
Beautiful, beautiful,
Beautiful Boy

- The iconic words of John Lennon from Beautiful Boy


My Show and Tell this week is a bit unorthodox. This was not the post that had been brewing in my head all day, but the afternoon's events dictacted this post. There isn't really much showing, but a good bit of telling. I'll begin at the beginning :D

When I was young, my parents were foster parents. We had around 70 some odd children in our home over a 5 year period. Some came and stayed a short time, others came and were with us for several years. One such child was a little girl who came to us at the age of 4. She was placed in foster care due to neglect on the part of her parents. Despite the age difference between her and myself (I am 7 years older than she), she and I grew very close. We loved one another just as blood siblings and, to this day, she still calls me "Sissy" occasionally.

Fast forward to the present. This same girl is now 23 years old, married and the mom of 2 little boys. She and her family are happy, but they do not have a lot of money (as is the case with many families in rural Georgia). I had not seen her in ages, but approximately 2 months ago, she approached my mom and told her she was pregnant again and she was going to be giving the child up for adoption because she could not financially, mentally, or physically afford another child. That was the last we heard until today.

This afternoon, she approached my mom again and asked if The Hubs and I would be willing to adopt her child. My mom called us and we, of course, said yes! This is a wonderful opportunity for us! My foster sister said she simply wanted to know the child would be loved and she knew that it would receive all the love in the world with us, because she had. She said she could not imagine her child with anyone in the world other than The Hubs and I.

So, we are now in hurry up and wait mode. We are scheduling a meeting with my foster sister sometime in the next few days to discuss the adoption. After that meeting, we will be contacting a lawyer and beginning the proceedings for our private adoption. Assuming the adoption goes through, we want my foster sister to be a large part of our child's life, but we want to be respectful of her wishes too. I feel a bit premature announcing this now, but I was too excited to hold it back. While I know there are many, many things that can change the outcome of this decision, The Hubs and I are cautiously optimistic.

So, if things go to plan, The Hubs and I will be welcoming our son home sometime near his due date of February 3, 2009.

By the way, anyone who has any advice on private adoption (particularly in Georgia) is welcome to leave it!

The Ornament and Dreidel Exchange

Fall is absolutely my favorite time of year! I love that it brings cooler days, richer colors and feelings of excitement. Each evening, The Hubs and I stand on our back porch and breathe in the crisp air - sometimes accompanied by the smell of wood smoke from chimneys if its cool enough - and hold each other, thankful that we still have a love so pure and true despite the struggles and disappointments of the last year.

Most places I go, the scent of cinnamon, pumpkin and spice lingers in the air, making my mind skip ahead to the coming celebrations. My favorite holidays - Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas - are mere days away. My birthday and anniversary are right in the middle of all these celebrations. Despite it being the end of the year and the dying off of plant life, for me it is life beginning again. Everything comes full circle and we gear up to start over again. It is a promise that, no matter what misfortune may have befell us the year previous, a new beginning is on the horizon.

It gives me hope for a more beautiful tomorrow.

With that said, I would like to explain my latest idea. Every year, I generally try to do something fun with my online friends. Previous years have usually included either gift exchanges or card exchanges. This year, with The Hubs still unemployed, funds are tighter. However, I would still like to do something fun and, since I'm new to the IF blogging world, I'd like to include you all!

My idea this year was for a Christmas Ornament and Hannukah (Chanukah) Dreidel exchange. I think it is a wonderful thing to receive something to help you celebrate your holiday season you know was picked out especially with you in mind by the person who sent it! It draws us closer and brings us new friends. Therefore, for all who would like to participate, I will post the guidelines:

1. The amount you would like to spend on your ornament or dreidel is up to you. I want everyone who would like to participate be able to do so please do not feel you have to spend an enormous amount! I would suggest an amount under 10 USD, but this is only a suggestion.


2. You can choose to participate in the ornament exchange, the dreidel exchange or both. Totally your choice!


3. If you practice a different religion (or no religion) and would like to add an exchange to reflect, please contact me.


4. The deadline to sign up is November 15, 2009. This is to give everyone time to purchase their exchange item and get it mailed so everyone can enjoy it for this year's holiday season.


5. On November 16, 2009, I will randomly draw names to give each person their exchange partner and send an email out to each participant, providing the details of their exchange partner. Your name will be kept secret from your exchange partner until the exchange arrives at each participants' home.


6. All exchange's should be in the post by November 25, 2009. This way, the exchange's should be to everyone by the start of Hannukah (or for anyone International, should be received during Hannukah) and in time to be displayed on Christmas trees for everyone's enjoyment.
   
7. Each exchange should include either an ornament or dreidel and a card.


8. If you would like to sign up, please complete the form located here.
   

If you have any questions or suggestions, please do not hesitate to contact me!! I want us all to have a wonderful holiday season!

Good Cause and Starting My "Wish To Do" List

I recently found a link on Kristen's blog to a very important, worthy cause: Preemie Presents. Sarah is working to get gifts together for families with preemies in the hospital over the holiday season. Her latest post says that she still needs donations of money for clothing, money or gift cards to Bath and Body Works (where she purchases the hand sanitizer each year) and handmade items. Also, any promotion and word of mouth passing on you can do for her would be a huge help!!

*********************

I've started recently thinking about the things I want to accomplish and the places I'd like to go before I die. I started my own "Wish to Do" list (some people call it a "Bucket List" but I prefer "Wish to Do") and I thought I'd share some of my ideas with you.

1. Have a baby (well, obviously, lol!)
   
2. Visit Paris
   
3. Visit Israel
   
4. Buy our own home
   
5. Complete my degree
   
6. Write a novel
   
7. Learn to use my sewing machine well
   
8. Visit Russia
   
9. Make enough items to open my own Etsy shop
   

I know. It's pretty pathetic right now. But, I'll be adding to it! So....

What's would your "Wish To Do" list have on it?

Show and Tell - Vol 6 - Images From Wistfulgirl's Real World

For this week's Show and Tell, I thought I would share some images with you from this past weekend of my real world. Some of the images come from the festival The Hubs and I attended with my sister, her 8 year old daughter (R-Bug - my adorable niece), our 16 year old niece (Boop), and R-Bug's best friend. The other images are from a walk with Isabel (our inside dog who I may alternately call Pog occasionally - that's her nickname) and Melody (or Melly, our outside dog). It was just a very relaxing weekend. I'll warn you ahead of time - there are a few photos this week!


A field near our home. I think this is one of the most beautiful places in our neighborhood.


The Hubs at the fall festival.


My eldest niece, Boop.


My youngest niece, R-Bug (the blonde on the left - our adopted baby!) and her best friend Saturday at the fall festival.


The Hubs, Pog (the black dog) and Melly on our Sunday walk.


A secret little pond near our home. Not many people know about it.

And last but not least:


Me, taken at the fall festival Saturday.

Welcome ICLWers!

Its IComLeavWe time again! So if you've made your way here via ICLW, welcome! If you found my little corner some other way, welcome to you as well!

A little background:

My name is Lynn and I'm 30 years old (although I'll be celebrating a birthday when this time comes around next month!). I'm married to an amazing guy I met online in 2000. We got married in November 2002 and will be celebrating our 7th wedding anniversary next month. We've been trying to start a family for almost 6 years without any success.

My TTC history:

We began TTC on our first wedding anniversary. We were prepared for it to take up to a year, as this is common for most couples. However, we were not prepared for the hoopla that has ensued! I have never had regular cycles, but we tried anyway. We were stubborn at first and determined we would do this on our own. So we tried for several years with the result of - nada, nuttin', zilch. In late 2004, I started having some serious pains in my upper right abdominal area (right under my breast) and could not figure out what the problem was. These carried on for several months until I finally decided I had to see a doctor (I do not like to go to the doctor, so this was a biggie for me). At the time, The Hubs and I were living in England (where The Hubs is from and our marital home for the first 3 1/2 years of our marriage) and the doctors there were stumped for a bit. They sent me to have several ultrasounds (abdominal, pelvic, etc.) performed to see what the problem was. The ultrasounds proved not very helpful, as the doctors were unable to see much. I was told (by a very rude doctor) that I was "too fat" for the ultrasounds to see properly. It was determined that I probably had gallstones and I was put on an 18 month waiting list for an operation to remove my gallbladder (yup, that's what you get with a nationalized heath system).

I continued to suffer from severe pain in my abdomen and nothing much seemed to help. In January 2006 (about 6 months into the 18 month wait), The Hubs and I received his visa to live in the USA and we repatriated. Fast forward to February 2007, I was still having severe abdominal pain and attacks that would have me doubled over. After one such attack at work and a trip to ER, my employer at the time told me I could not come back to work until I had scheduled surgery to remove my gallbladder (he was concerned for my health, but don't be fooled - he was an ass). The Hubs insurance had just come into effect, so I made an appointment with my doctor, who promptly sent me over for an ultrasound (with similar results to the previous ones) and on to a surgeon. That was on Monday, March 5 and my surgery was scheduled for Friday, March 9.

On Friday, I went in for surgery, was put to sleep and woke up in a lot of pain several hours later (crying for The Hubs, no less). When I woke, they had not yet remembered to give me any pain medication, but it was quickly injected and I was given some shocking news. When the surgeon had gone in (laproscopically) to do the surgery, he was frightened at first that they had perforated and inflated the bowel, as he was unable to see my gallbladder. However, he quickly determined that the real problem was an enormous cyst sitting on my right ovary and pushing all of my internal organs up and to the left! He removed 2 litres of fluid (yup, like a 2L bottle of Coke) from the cyst, then removed the cyst and sent it off to be biopsied (it came back benign, thankfully). He then went on to remove my gallbladder (which had been verging on gaingrenous). He stated that, with both the cyst and the gallbladder the way they were, it was no wonder I had been in so much pain.

So, after recovery time, The Hubs and I got back to TTC. We thought it would be no problem at all now to conceive. But in September 2008, we had still not conceived, so I made an appointment with my OB/GYN. At my first visit, she diagnosed me with PCOS and did some blood work to determine if I had diabetes or insulin resistance. She also had The Hubs do an SA, which came back excellent (The Hubs strutted around for days like he was a rock star) so at least we didn't have to add male factor to our problems. My bloodwork came back that, while I did not have diabetes, I was indeed insulin resistant. My doctor prescribed Metformin and said to wait and see if this would regulate my cycles without Clomid. It didn't.

In April 2009, I finally convinced my doctor to prescribe Provera and Clomid. I just knew Clomid was going to be our wonder drug. Four negative Clomid cycles later, I gave up on that dream and The Hubs and I decided to take a break from medicated cycles until he could regain employment (he lost his job in November 2008 and has been looking ever since). We weren't going to stop TTC, just no medication until we felt comfortable moving onto our RE referral and an IUI cycle.

I just finished my first post-Clomid, unmedicated cycle (which I had "boosted" with Soy Isos). It lasted 89 days and I had no convincing O (despite the red CH given to me by FF). Since my O was not delayed, but in fact did not happen, I decided to give Soy Isos another shot. I increased my dosage with this cycle and am currently on CD 6 - Day 4 of soy. With the worst case scenario, my cycle will once again be long.

So, that gets you up to date with me. If you've made it this far reading, you must really be bored, lol! But thanks! Hope you enjoy your time at my blog and have a great IComLeavWe!

New Cycle and Other Bits and Pieces

Finally!

AF finally turned up on Friday, so I am on to a new cycle now :D I'm really pleased. I decided to give soy one more try. I read somewhere that your dosage needed to be double what your Clomid dosage had been and I didn't do that last cycle. My chart from last cycle isn't showing a clear O pattern, so I think its very likely I either did not O or had a weak O. I have, thus, increased my soy dosage to 240mg for 5 days. I took the first dose last night. I'll just have to see how things progress with it.

*********************

The Hubs and I had a great time working with Disney's A Christmas Carol Train Tour! It was a lot of fun! Very hard work, but lots of fun. The Hubs was stationed in the car that had videos playing on several screens telling how the movie was made and I was at the activities table applying temporary tattoos to the little ones (and several big ones, lol), as well as passing out activities sheets. I'm really glad we did it!

*********************

This past weekend, The Hubs and I attended a local festival. We thought it would be a lot of fun since it had been in the past, but either the abrupt change of Georgia weather (its been cold! in Ocotber! That never happens down here) or economic change over the last year has affected it. There was hardly anything there. We only stayed about half an hour, but we got some good photos (which I may share for Show and Tell this week). After we left there, we visited my sister, brother-in-law and niece. We hadn't seen them in a while, so it was a nice visit.

*********************

Today starts this month's Blogger Bingo! I'm excited about it! I have no idea how Mel has the time to come up with all these different activities, but I'm grateful for them :D Now....fingers crossed I get to call bingo!

Good News Day

Got an email today from the university I'm attending. I made the Dean's List for Summer 2009!!! I'm very excited! I've worked very hard since I started, so I'm hoping I will be able to graduate with honors. I'm finishing up my first year and I have two and a half more years to go before I complete my degree. I don't think making Dean's List is bad going :D

*********************

The Hubs got a call today. He had applied for a one day job/gig working with Disney working as a Tour Assistant for their train tour for the new movie A Christmas Carol starring Jim Carrey. So this morning he answers the call and gets offered the position, which has turned into a two day gig! Great news!

The tour stop is a couple of hours from where we live and the hours go late the first day and start very early the next day, so The Hubs and I decided he would get a hotel for the one night. The Hubs had been asked if he knew anyone else who could help because they needed lots of people. I decided to take two days paid leave from my job and help too! So, I'll get paid from my normal job and make the extra money from helping with the tour.

The tour looks like its going to be a lot of fun, so, if one comes your way, go check it out!

*********************

I hesitate to share this news, but it looks like after 85 days of nothing happening with my cycle, I have some spotting! Its not much, but anything is a sign that maybe something is happening. I never thought I'd be wishing for AF to start, but today is one of those days I wish she'd come. I'm really hoping I start so I can move on to the next cycle and leave this horrible one behind.

*********************

Here are today's Friday Five.

1. Who in your life is as blind as a bat? My mother - in more than a few ways!

2. Who in your life is as happy as a clam? My sister

3. Who in your life is as mad as a wet hen? That would be the younger of my two brothers.

4. Who in your life is as stubborn as a mule? Hehe, The Hubs, no doubt about it!

5. Who in your life is as quiet as a mouse? My dad these days. Didn't used to be that way, but he is now.

Okay, that's it for me today! Hope you all have a lovely Friday!

My First Award!

I was checking the comments I missed while suffering the migraine this week and I found I had received an award from my new blogging buddy Suzy @ Not a Fertile Myrtle! She is enormously charming and witty so please go pay her a visit!



Here are the rules
1. you can only use one word!
2. pass this along to 6 of your favorite bloggers
3. alert them that you have given them this award!
4. have fun!

The Fun Part

1. Where is your cell phone? desk
2. Your hair? red
3. your mother? working
4. Your father? home
5. Your favorite food? Italian
6. Your dream last night? unremembered
7. Your favorite drink? sierra mist
8. Your dream/goal? mom
9. What room are you in? office
10. Your hobby? crafting
11. Your fear? childlessness
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? settled
13. Where were you last night? home
14. Something that you aren’t? well
15. Muffins? chocolate
16. Wish list item? laptop
17. Where did you grow up? Georgia
18. Last thing you did? work
19. What are you wearing? scrubs
20. Your TV? comedies
21. Your pets? loved
22. Friends? great!
23. Your life? improving
24. Your mood? sad
25. Missing someone? in-laws
26. Vehicle? Chevy
27. Something you’re not wearing? earrings
28. Your favorite store? craft
29. Your favorite color? purple
30. When was the last time you laughed? lunch
31. Last time you cried? earlier
32. Your best friend? Hubs
33. One place that I go to over and over? craft store
34. One person who emails me regularly? Mom
35. Favorite place to eat? Applebee's

Recipients
1) Hawthorn Hill - One of my best friends for many years, writes about crafting and family in the UK
2) Aceswyf - Another good friend for many years, sarcastic and funny, writes about life on the west coast with her daughter and hubby
3) Confessions of an (Infertile) Shopaholic - Recently discovered blog, sincere and heartfelt, writes about TTC and life
4) Maybe Baby? - Another recent blog find, unsure yet determined, writes about her current pregnancy and previous loss
5) Once A Mother - A further new blog find, searingly emotional and heartwrenching, writes about the too soon loss of her beautiful daughter to infant leukemia
6) Dreams of Quiet Places - And yet another new find, witty and stunningly honest, writes about her life after escaping spousal emotional abuse and her wonderful doggy, Miss Famous

Please visit these wonderful ladies!

Show and Tell - Vol 5

My Show and Tell is fairly weak this week (lol). I've been sick most of the week with a migraine headache, so haven't been out and about much. However, before the evil headache monster got me The Hubs and I stole a few hours away from real life to go to the cinema. I've been going on and on for about two months wanting to see the new Fame when it came out. So on Saturday we decided to get our singing-dancing-acting-musical-instrument-playing fix and headed out to make the 45 minute drive to the nearest cinema (yes, 45 minutes for a movie - we live in a town that progress forgot).

We had planned to go out for a meal and spend the whole day out, but the migraine had already started its menacing path towards making me ill enough to wish I was dead and I was feeling a bit ~nughf~. Thus, we decided the movie alone was enough. The movie was good and there were a few excellent bits, but I have to admit I felt it was a bit lacking. I've seen the original Fame and I felt the characters were more developed in the original than the newer version. I was just left wanting more. It was kind of like eating one cookie or just one Pringle. I enjoyed it, but I wanted more. However, the scene in the lunchroom where they all break out and improvise was amazing! Very impressed with it.



See what the rest of the class are up to here.

Friday Five - October 2

Here are today's Friday Five.

1. Which of your stories have you probably told the greatest number of times to the most people?

The Story of how The Hubs and I met. I'm working on getting this up on my website. Maybe someday I'll have it up again.

2. What’s a story someone else often tells about you, much to your chagrin?

My mother takes great pleasure in telling the story of how I couldn't skip when I was doing the physical to start kindergarten. I was too fat and I had no coordination. To fix this, I was started in twirling and dance lessons. I loved those lessons!

3. What oft-told story from a chapter in your life seems to be remembered differently by different people who were there?

My dad got very sick a few years ago and we were worried he wouldn't make it. The family was called in 3 different times and told to prepare for the worst. The ins and outs of this time are remembered differently by each of us and we often disagree about when and what things actually happened during this time. I blame it on the emotional upset we were all going through.

4. What are some of the details, without retelling the whole story, of a story you’ve told often but never to your parents?

Jose Cuervo, ex-boyfriend, ex-boyfriend's other girlfriend (whom I had just found out about and vice versa, busted windshield. Enough said, I think.

5. What song would be an appropriate soundtrack to the story of your most embarrassing moment?

Loser by Beck

Cycle Day 76 - AF/O where are you?!

Note: This is a TMI post.

Today is cycle day 76.

It feels like this cycle will never end. I had some EWCM again yesterday, which had me hopeful. Today my temp is way down. I don't know what my body is playing at, but I really hope something will happen soon. It's so frustrating!

I'm not a patient person. I'm working on this, but for the time being, patience is a virtue that deserts me. I just want the next cycle to start, even though we're taking a break from medical treatment until The Hubs is back in work. I know that if the next cycle would go ahead and start, I could try the natural route again with supplements. This cycle I took Soy Isoflavones which didn't seem to do much of anything. Maybe I didn't take enough?

If I don't get a sign of either O or AF in the next few days, I'll try Vitex. I've heard it does good things, so maybe it would work for me. Anyone got any information on how it works or any stories about their own experience with Vitex? I'd be interested to hear them.

I know we aren't pg - my temps have been staying much too low for that. My chart looks very sad. PCOS is a real witch!

Show and Tell - Vol. 4

During my time in England, one of my very favourite (favorite) places to visit was Newmillerdam. It was a beautiful little area with a lovely lake and lots of trees where we used to take Isabel to walk. It was a 35 minute bus journey for us to get there, but we'd often go on the weekends. It reminded me a lot of home.

Beside the lake there was an old boathouse that was so gorgeous! Everytime I saw it, my fingers itched to paint it. I swore one day I would gather my easel, watercolors and painting pad and set up to capture the beautiful lines. It truly was my plan to record those memories for when I returned to the US. But, as time went on and I didn't gather the supplies and go, I realized that it, like so many dreams and plans I've had in life, was floating away like a feather on the wind, until eventually I was out of time to paint it. We moved without me ever having done what I promised myself I would do.



Now that we live in the US, my chances to paint the boathouse are very limited. We've only returned to the UK once in the almost-four-years we've been here. I hope when we go back next, I will make time to go sit and finally see my plan come to fruition. However, it won't feel the same as before. It will feel as though its missing something without Isabel being with us. That's what happens when I put things off - I find myself longing for the past.

See what the rest of the class are up to here.