Day 2 - The Meaning Behind Your Blogger Name

This is an interesting (for me, at least) and fairly easy post to write.

My Blogger name is Wistfulgirl (obviously). I love my name! It is so much who I am!

I was part of the online/long-distance relationships community long before I became a member of the ALI community. Just like our community now, I loved my community then. I felt so immersed in it.

One of the things, though, that I felt I missed was that everyone seemed to have a moniker and I didn't. It seems silly now, but I really wanted that. Throughout the years, I've been known by a couple of other online nicknames, most notably The Crazy American (during my time in England) and Moony. Both of these names fit me at the time, but the names weren't ones that I felt would continue on with me over the years.

One day, my current Blogger name popped into my head and I immediately knew it perfectly described me. Even when my life seems to be going perfectly, I find myself wistful for those things I see making life more special: first love and a husband, now a family, a home like the one I've always dreamed of and a job I love and feel I'm making a difference with. I think my name encompasses the whimsical part of my spirit....it makes me think of dragonflies and butterflies, green grass blowing in the wind, a cool white room devoid of any clutter or color, peacefulness, calmness and, yet, still with a touch of longing.

It's just very.....me.

NaBloPoMo - Day 1

Today is November 1 and that means it's NaBloMoPo! What is NaBloPoMo, you may ask? It's National Blog Posting Month! So.....that means I'm once again going to be attempting to post (at least) one blog a day, every day for the month of November! Because I do better with a theme, I've located a new 30-Day Blog Challenge Theme and so, here are the things I'll be writing about over the coming days:

• Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself


• Day 02- The meaning behind your Blogger name


• Day 03- A picture of you and your friends


• Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn't have, or something that you are looking forward to


• Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to


• Day 06- Favorite super hero and why


• Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you


• Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why


• Day 09- Something you’re proud of


• Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad


• Day 11- a person you would love to meet


• Day 12- Your Blog Story


• Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently


• Day 14- A picture of you and your family


• Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play


• Day 16- Another picture of yourself (baby pic!)


• Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why


• Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have


• Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them


• Day 20- What does your future hold/where would you like to be?


• Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy


• Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else


• Day 23- Something you crave for a lot


• Day 24- A letter to your parents


• Day 25- What I would find in your bag


• Day 26- What you think about your friends


• Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge


• Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?


• Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned


• Day 30- Who are you?

Interested? Stick around and see what you find out! Better yet! Join in yourself! It's time to get posting! Leave me a comment and I'll pop by to visit you and see what you're up to during NaBloPoMo!

Now.....on to my first Day for the month!

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Day One - A recent picture of yourself and fifteen interesting facts about yourself


The Hubs and I one month ago in St. Petersburg, Florida.

1. I can roll my tongue. Not a huge thing but interesting, nonetheless.


2. I can also tie cherry stems into knots with my tongue. Comes back to that being able to roll my tongue thing ;-)


3. I'm petrified of armadillos. I mean really, really scared of them. I have this irrational fear that they eat people. I know it's stupid, but I can't get it out of my head.


4. I have an irrational pet peeve - I hate it when people phone me and I'm not in a mood to talk. I know they have no idea, but I get really frustrated and agitated with them for calling me. It's really unfair to the unsuspecting caller, but I can't seem to shake the feeling of irritation.


5. I'm a Glee freak. I know I've said this before, but I really don't think you can possibly understand how crazy I am about that show! I absolutely love it! I cannot miss it each week. I DVR it even if I watch it. Then I watch it again during the week. I have the first season on DVD and I'm hoping to get the second season for Christmas. I wish I'd had these kids around me when I was in school. I know. I'm pathetic. But I don't care!


6. I love puzzles! The Hubs and I are actually currently putting together a 1000 piece puzzle and we have 4 more of equal size waiting when we finish. My co-workers have told me this makes me incredibly boring but that's okay. I'd rather be boring but enjoy what I'm doing than to be interesting but be hating every second of it.


7. When I'm alone and I'm cooking - which I love to do, by the way - I sometimes pretend I have my own cooking show. I talk to the non-existent audience and explain what I'm doing. Someday when I make it onto Food Network, I'll be all ready :-D This is really embarassing, so please don't tease me about it!


8. I'm really unhappy at my job right now. I've always enjoyed it in the past but lately it's been making me unhappy. I'm kind of stuck there until next April when I finish my degree, so I just have to find a way to make it bearable.


9. I have a tendency to stay up very late. Even though I have to be at work at 7am every morning, I'm usually still awake at midnight. I feel tired most days, but I can't seem to get to bed earlier. Something I need to work on.


10. Even though I always said that I hated that I looked so much like my dad's side of the family, now that he's gone, I'm secretly glad I look like him. Now, everytime I look in the mirror, I see traces of him and it makes me feel less alone.


11. I'm a little worried about our dog, Isabel, when we adopt. She's a very friendly dog when she gets to know people, but when she first meets them, she barks constantly. And she seems fierce, even though she's not so much (at least as long as you're not another animal). I hope she doesn't cause a problem for us with the home study and I hope it's an easy transition for her when we adopt.


12. Even though I've lived most of my life in the area The Hubs and I currently live in, I find it difficult sometimes to accept how small-town and red-necky it is. I know that it's just the way people are and that not being that way would not be honest to them, but some of the things they do just make me cringe! I'm not ashamed of where I come from, but I sometimes wish some of the people I deal with daily could tone down the hickness. (And, trust me, I know this makes me sound like a bitch, but it's how I feel.)


13. I hardly ever find the "hot" guys on television dating shows good-looking. I usually think they're kind of ugly. I just don't get what's supposedly attractive about them.


14. I am addicted to The Maury Show, particularly the "who's the baby-daddy" episodes. It's really sad, but I am totally enraptured by them when they're on. What can I say? Trash television is perfect for rubber-necking!


15. Even though I am madly in love with my husband - and, make no doubt about it, The Hubs is my everything and the only reason I keep going a lot of days - I have a teeny, tiny crush on my best guy friend who is not The Hubs. Yup, the one who's leaving the country on Sunday. I'm heartbroken he's leaving. Who'm I going to flirt with, bitch to and joke with now? I mean, apart from The Hubs. J is my outside-of-things sounding board. I have no idea how I'm going to survive without him. Btw, he has NO IDEA I have a teeny, tiny crush on him. However, The Hubs knows all about it. He thinks it's kind of funny but it doesn't bother him because he understands it is what it is. He knows he has nothing to worry about.

So, that's my picture and 15 interesting facts about me! What are your's?

What the F**k Wednesday

So I've just discovered What the Fuck Wednesday, hosted by the ever-fabulous Kristin and have decided I would participate. Hopefully this will help me get back into the blogging cycle seeing as how there are constantly WTF moments in my life.

Today's moment comes to you directly from my boss. I will pause here to say, if you happen to follow me on Facebook, please do not mention this there, seeing as how my boss is now one of my "friends" (after dodging her for two years and claiming to always "forget" to locate her and add her and hiding behind the fact I have a very common name, she finally located me and added me. I could find no reason to not accept and figured I would just do well to accept her friendship and limit my FB time from here on out).

As I've stated in my last two posts, I have a severe headache that has been with me now for a week and a half. I saw my regular doctor last Wednesday and was prescribed antibiotics and nose spray for a severe sinus infection and Flexeril for neck spasms as well as Vimovo to keep my stomach from being upset from the other medications (hey, no matter that I generally take enough medication for an army, these meds may cause an upset stomach), however, these medications have not even touched my headache. It's still present and getting worse. I've been at work everyday (apart from my visit to the RE last Thursday, but that was unrelated to my headache), having taken only an hour to go to my doctor last Wednesday and then coming back to work. In fact, we're only at Wednesday of this week and I already have 3 1/4 hours more hours than I should have! At the rate I'm going, I'll have to leave by 11:00 on Friday to avoid overtime!

Anyway, one of the reasons I have so much time is that one of the other girls in my department has been sick and the other one has had a sick child. Between the two of them, they've missed some time this week. Being the department supervisor, it has fallen to me to take up their slack, despite my debilitating headache. Honestly, I've been going through my days in a haze of pain and nausea. But I've been there.

Today (as the colleague who has been sick herself was admitted to our hospital), I stated to my boss that I needed to see my doctor again and see what he could do, since my headache had not gone away. Let me restate: this headache has been around for a week and a half.

Her response? (In a very snide and snotty tone) "You just need to go get some Sudafed and take it! You just have fluid in your head and sinuses! There's nothing else wrong!"

What. The. Fuck?!?!

Now, I know she is a nurse, but, guess what? She may not have been concerned, but I was! I'll stop here to say she's been extremely concerned about the colleague who's been sick and the child of the other colleague, but then she's friends with them outside of work (which severely limits my ability to be an effective supervisor. They don't like what I do, they run to her and complain and she "corrects" me). I'm not disputing they've been sick, but so have I. And her dismissal of my headache really bothered me.

In the end, I spoke with my doctor and he ordered a STAT CT of the brain with and without IV contrast. The report showed there was no hemorrhaging, no mass, no ischemic changes and no fluid on the brain or in the sinuses. Shock! Surprise! My boss was wrong (go figure)!

What it means is that what I'm experiencing is a migraine headache different from any migraine I've had before - and I get them pretty frequently - and possibly indicative of a move towards epilepsy. Great. That's all I need. In an effort to prevent future migraines and avoid any epileptic episodes, my doctor has prescribed Topamax for 5 days to see what my response to it will be.

So, I will once more say What the Fuck?!?!?! to my boss and ask the diagnosing of my problems be left to my GP. Oh, and please have the same respect and care for me you have for the others in my department.

Sorry for my rant, but it had to go somewhere!

Got your own WTF Wednesday moment? Post it on your blog and then head on over to Dragondreamer's Lair and add your link in the comments section!

I mentioned in my last post how we had finally contacted the State of Georgia about starting the adoption process on Monday of this week. We're in the midst of the 10 day period they call us in. By next Friday we should have heard from them.

In the meantime, I've been having a look at the My Turn Now Photolisting of children available for adoption from the Georgia Foster Care System. The Hubs and I have actually been looking at this list for several years and there is one child who caught our attention about 3 years ago. We said when we first saw this child that if she was still available when we actually came to adopt, we would look at possibly pursuing her adoption. So we have this evening completed the interest email for this child.

I know if she's meant to be part of our family, it will work out and, if not, then the Lord has another plan for her and us. I'll be happy whichever way it works out, but.....please wish us luck! I would be ecstatic if she was meant to join our family! I won't be sharing any specific details about her at this time for a couple of reasons: firstly, I don't know what the Georgia State rules on this are, but I'm guessing they don't want you discussing the adoption and, secondly, it's really her story to tell and I don't want to do anything that might hurt her. So, I'll share what I can, but don't expect too much.

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I had my follow-up visit with Dr. O today. The cyst seems not to have grown, but Dr. O is still concerned about it, so he's sending me to a specialist OB/GYN to get their opinion on our next move. He feels they'll probably just recommend watching it for now and then, if it grows, remove it.

Sigh.

Once more we're in hurry-up-and-wait mode. I'm still 10 pounds from my goal to lose anyway. I need to get back to watching my calories very closely and exercising regularly. I sort of fell off the wagon when my Dad died. But I know he'd want me to work on my weight, too. It will work out so much better for me. I'll be healthier and I'll look better. I'll feel better too. In the long run, it's just the right thing for me.

Anyway, back to the RE visit, Dr. O wants me to continue next month with Agestin because it seemed to work well this month. Since I started late this month, he wants me to bring it back 3 days next month, so I'll start the meds on November 4. Then in December, I'll go back to the 1st and be back on track.

I just wish my body would, for once, do what it was supposed to do.

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My Dad's grave finally has the headstone up. It looks so pretty. I still cry everytime I go. I miss him so much. I get so angry when I think what infertility has stolen from me. It means my Dad will never get to meet his grandchildren (at least my children) and his grandchildren will never get to meet him. It means I'll never get to see my children hug him or walk to him. They'll never get to wrap a Christmas gift for their Papa. There are so many things I've lost due to infertility, but this one makes me the angriest.

Anyway, I took a picture of his headstone so I could share it. I've blurred out the last name for security purposes but it doesn't affect the picture at all. I hope you think it's as beautiful as I do.



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ICLW starts tomorrow. I will really try hard to get a post done every day and visit all my blog reads each day. I need to get back into blogging regularly and reading my friends. I miss you all.

Ciao for now!