Adoption Class Number 1

We had our first IMPACT Training class last night. It was really an interesting class, but I have to admit it did not leave me feeling any calmer. In fact, I would probably have to say it increased my stress level tremendously. I don't like the unknown, so this will be a test for me.

To begin with, The Hubs and I had only ever planned to be an adoptive home. Fostering wasn't really something we felt we would be comfortable with. As a child, my parents kept foster children for 6 years. I've lived in a home with foster children coming and going and the separation is not something I enjoyed. I know it will be so difficult on my emotionally.

However, last night we were informed that our chances of being able to adopt a child through the Department of Family and Children Services (DFCS) without being an active foster home were slim to none. Therefore, it looks like we are going to be a foster/adoptive home. What this means is that when a child comes to our home, the parental rights of at least one of the parents involved will already be terminated and the caseplan for the other parents involved will not be going as it should and, thus, it is more likely the child will become available for adoption. While there is still a small chance the child will be returned to their biological family, there is a much higher probability the child will be made available for adoption and, as the foster parents, we would be given the first opportunity to adopt the child.

I'm still trying to decide how I feel about this scenario. While it breaks my heart that there are families that will lose their children, I'm also aware that these are families that will have been given ample opportunity to complete steps to get their children back home with them. The real upset will be with the children.

I think my real frustration is that I haven't yet had time to process the change to my plans. I'm sure I'll feel happier about it once I've had this time. At the end of the day, this is the process we need to take to find our child. We know there is a child that we are meant to parent and we'll follow whatever path we need to bring us to that child.

Back to the class, though, we had two instructors, each casewokers for the two areas (each inclusive of several counties) in our region. One of the caseworkers we felt a great connectin with immediately; the other not so much. Unfortunately, the one we connected with is not our caseworker. However, we will work through this as well. I'm sure as we get to know our caseworker better, we'll feel more connected with her.

Afterwards, we approached the caseworker we had the connection with and explained to her that we were interested in a child on the State listing. She was very interested and told us to bring her the information on the child next week. She stated they would definitely try to push our homestudy on through and get us prepared to proceed with the adoption as soon as possible.

All in all, it was a good class experience. I'm really looking forward to next week now. Hopefully some of my nervousness and worry will dissipate over the next few weeks.

Getting Through My Adoption (Slightly-More-Than) Two Week Wait

With 5 days to go before our first adoption training class and having been more than a week since my last post, I’m sure some of you may have been wondering what I’ve been doing with myself (or, perhaps I overestimate my interest-factor…..either way). Here is a list of the activities that have occupied my time and helped to fill the slightly-more-than Two Week Wait between our invite to adoption training and the first class:

• Had a severe sinus infection.


• Went shopping with The Hubs to get some new work clothes (we’re no longer wearing scrubs and I’m actually okay with that) while having a raging fever.


• Read through The Hunger Games trilogy a second time.


• Purchased The Hunger Games Tribute Guide to go along with the movie.


• Purchased The Hunger Games Official Illustrated Movie Companion.


• Read both of the movie tie-in books I purchased.


• Wept through the haze of a high fever because I could not be a character (obviously one that survives and, preferably, winds up with Peeta) in The Hunger Games trilogy.


• Re-acquainted myself with Twitter


• Searched for websites related to The Hunger Games


• Found and devoured all the info on Mockingjay.net


• Discovered (via Mockingjay.net) the actors playing the characters from The Hunger Games


• Developed a wildly inappropriate crush on Josh Hutcherson (who plays Peeta Mellark and is 14 years [!!!!] my junior)


• Located JoshHutcherson.com, the official website for Josh Hutcherson


• Followed the link from JoshHutcherson.com to Josh’s personal Twitter account, @jhutch1992 and began Twitter-stalking following Josh on Twitter - despite my strict personal rule about not following celebrities. I guess rules were made to be broken!


• Began following @TheHungerGames on Twitter.


• Returned to work after 2 days off sick (yes, I managed all of the above over a weekend and 2 sick days!)


• Survived the other 3 days of the week at work to reach the weekend


• Began planning what The Hubs and I would be wearing for opening night of The Hunger Games seeing as how we plan to dress in fasions of the Capital. Yup, both of us - well, The Hubs' costume will be a male costume, lol!


• Went shopping with The Hubs again and became a member of Books-A-Million. Got some great books as well!


• Had a fantastic meal at the Olive Garden.


• Went to see Journey 2: The Mysterious Island starring (surprise!) Josh Hutcherson (did I mention I'm a little obsessed? =D)


• Had a nice long Skype-chat with my best friend who will be home for a visit from Afghanistan on March 16.


• Was told by a random stranger in a store that if I were a pizza topping, I'd be cheese because everyone likes cheese (I know, I was perplexed as well).


• Discovered a fantastic organization via @jhutch1992 called Straight, But Not Narrow founded by Avan Jogia and began following @WeAreSBNN on Twitter.


• Began following @ATJogia on Twitter.


• Watched an extremely powerful episode of Glee.


• Tweeted that I felt the next episode of Glee should have some members of the cast wearing Straight But Not Narrow t-shirts as they fit very well with the storyline.


• Saw and Re-Tweeted that Max Adler (who plays Karofsky on Glee) should join several other awesome celebs and do a PSA for Straight But Not Narrow.


• Began following @MrMaxAdler and @msleamichele (there goes that no following celebs thing. Oh, well, it was fun while it lasted)


• Petitioned for, was accepted and have paid my dues for my graduation from college in April! The Hubs and I will be traveling to Iowa for my graduation...I can't wait!


• Decided I want to get a guitar and learn to play.


• Began eating better (again) and exercising using Just Dance 3 for Wii as my exercise routine.

I think that's all. Now, what have I NOT been doing that would have been more productive?

• Visited and commented on my blog reads


• Worked on the afghan I owe Emily.


• Made any hairbows to open my Etsy shop


• Kept myself sane

I know I should be unhappy with the things I haven't done, but I'm actually not terribly upset about the things I have done. I will need to work on these things, but I'm going to try not to beat myself up over it. In a few days time, we'll be moving forward with things and it'll all work out. Good times!

See, It Really Does Get Better....

After our disappointment over the last week, it seems something good has finally happened. The long, interminable wait we've been in regarding our IMPACT Training invite is finally over. Our invite arrived in the mail yesterday!

It wasn't completely unexpected, but I didn't want to say anything until it had actually gotten here because....well, you guys have seen how things tend to go for me if I get too excited about something, so I figured I'd wait it out and let the invite actually arrive before I made an announcement. So, you want the story of how I kind of knew to expect it? Okay, here goes....

On Wednesday, I finally decided I would call our caseworker and see what was going on with the invite. We attended orientation on November 15, so it's been almost 3 months. I know she had said we wouldn't have the classes until after the first of the year and that it may be February when they start, but, well, we're now in February and we'd still heard nothing. So, I made the call. Only to find out our caseworker is no longer employed with the Department of Family and Children Services (DFCS)!

Yup, I panicked. I franctically asked the lady who answered the phone who our new caseworker was. She stated she didn't know, but gave me a number to call where "they might be able to help" me. I called the new number and it turned out to be the number to our new caseworker, fortunately. She stated that it was a good thing I had called because she was sending out the invites that afternoon and she didn't seem to have our file! She said she was still having to hunt down several of the files to get everything together but that our invite would be in the mail on Wednesday evening.

I was very excited to see it actually here yesterday when I got home from work! Now we just have to wait for the day! We're scheduled to begin training on February 28. Classes will be every Tuesday from 6pm to 9pm for 7 consecutive weeks. At the end of that time, we should have finished not only the training, but our homestudy and be waiting only on the write-up and, hopefully, it won't be long until we have our child with us!! So excited now! Praying the time hurries through!

Three and a Half Minutes

It seems like such a long time ago since I wrote this post. But, it seems all stories must have an end, so I feel it's time I shared this one with you.

Last Thursday, Lady V came to visit me. She told me that she had a phone call around 2:30am that morning saying that Juno had had the baby. Baby was a girl, named one of the names we liked as a first name and sharing a middle name with me. Juno's sister told Lady V to tell us to come get the baby! At first we were distraught because we're no further with our homestudy or any of the other things we need to get done. Then I asked some lovely ladies who are much more knowledgeable (you girls know who you are.....Thanks!) and I was given hope that we might be able to get a judge to sign a petition of temporary custody.

Before I would make the call to our caseworker though, I asked Lady V to have Juno or a family member call us. We'd still never spoken to her and, frankly, I don't trust any situation until I hear it from the source. So a long wait punctuated by several text messages from me to Lady V asking if she'd been in touch with them ensued. When I say a long wait, I mean long. A full 24 hours.

Finally, the following day, Lady V texted me and stated that Juno's mom had decided she wanted Juno to take the baby home and attempt parenting for a month. If that doesn't work out, the plan is for Juno's mom to adopt the baby and raise her as Juno's sister.

Sometimes life is hard to stomach. But, I'm actually doing okay. No tears this time. No devestation. I don't know if that is, perhaps, because I never thought of this adoption as a real thing or what, but I'm grateful it's a little easier this time. Maybe, perversely, each loss actually gets a little easier. Maybe you finally get so used to life kicking you in the teeth, that you start to, not enjoy the taste of blood, but to resolve yourself to the fact that it's simply what will happen.

Good things will come to us though. Soon. I just know it.

Wordless Wednesday - My Latest Obsession