2012 Parting Thoughts - What I've Learned......

....About Motherhood

1. It is possible to love someone so much you would do absolutely anything for them.
2. It doesn't matter if you share half of your child's DNA or none of it, they have your heart wrapped around their little finger and can do no wrong in your eyes.
3. There will never, ever, ever be enough room in your home for you, your spouse, your child and the myriad of toys that Santa brings. Ever.
4. Your borderline OCD compulsion for a neat and tidy home will never survive the first month of life with a child.
5. Sippy cups should be made with wings, as they fly more often than any bird I've ever seen.
6. Ditto baby spoons and plates.
7. The food that your child adores today will not meet the standard of approval tomorrow.
8. A cheeky baby smile can make a terrible day suddenly seem like one of your best.
9. No matter how tired you are, you will find the energy to cook, clean, play, bathe, read, rock to sleep, get to bed at midnight, be up during the night and get up again at 6am to do it all over again with a smile on your face and a prayer of thanks in your heart for being given the amazing blessing of a child.
10. A snuggle and a simple "Wub you!" is worth all the waiting you ever did.

....About Grief

1. Despite the assurities that time heals the pain, it's still as acute now as it was the day my Daddy passed away.
2. Fresh waves of grief can hit you at the oddest times - in the middle of a movie, during a commercial, watching your niece graduate from high school, during your own college graduation, the day your child comes to live with you, putting out Christmas decorations, helping Santa place gifts under the tree - moments you'd never expect to feel sad during.
3. Even during the second Thanksgiving and Christmas without him, I still expect to see him laughing and asking for another piece of turkey.
4. Despite my fears, the sound of his voice has yet to fade from my memory.
5. Ditto his unique "Daddy" smell.
6. He would have loved his little grandson.
7. Proof that he sends me gifts - our certainty that no photos of our entire family (parents and all 4 kids) as adults existed was shattered mere days before my birthday when I discovered a photo taken two days after Christmas in 2004, the last time we were all home that wasn't because Daddy was sick.

....About a Decade of Marriage

1. Even after 10 years of marriage, my husband is still a bed cover thief.
2. Despite knowing it frustrates me, it is a certainty that when I'm feeling agitated, my husband will make silly comments.
3. No matter how much Dr. Pepper I buy, it will disappear in a matter of a couple of days.
4. Magic the Gathering trading cards are always the perfect go-to item when I'm stuck for a gift idea.
5. Shoes will never last more than 6 months
6. Dinner and a movie with my hubby is still the greatest night out ever.
7. Years of waiting for it to happen have made my hubby a fantastic daddy, even if he was absolutely terrified he would screw it up.
8. I married a great man.

....About Faith

1. The bad actions of a few church members should not be allowed to discourage me from worshiping.
2. Being in a place of worship always has the power of soothing me when I feel disheartened.
3. The Lord (my belief) will always see me through any situation as long as I maintain faith in His omnipetence.
4. Good things come when the time is right.
5. Life has a way of working out for the best (cliche, but true).

....About Family

1. My mom depends on me more than I ever thought possible.
2. I can't seem to do things I want to do or that are in my best interest if my family needs me to do something else.
3. My nieces reacted completely differently to the addition of Monster Man than I expected. The younger of the two, at age 11, has been excited, loving and generous to the point of spending her own money to buy him gifts. The older, at 19, has been incredibly jealous to the point of crying that more money was spent on him for Christmas than on her. While the first lightens my heart, the latter truly saddens me.
4. Since my dad's death, I feel much more responsible for my family.
5. I still hate talking on the phone, even to my family who take it personally. It's not meant that way.

....About The Shy Side of 35

1. The older I get, the quicker the years pass.
2. My body thinks it's older than my 34 years.
3. Due to that phenomenon, I now understand why people have children in their 20's.
4. My mind still wants to be a late night person, but my body is a 7am-at-the-latest waker.
5. I'm allowed to find younger guys hot as long as they're famous and, therefore, completely out of reach.
6. My current career makes me really unhappy.
7. I'm far too willing to allow people to run over me to avoid conflict.
8. I'm very judgmental about famous people.
9. While I do feel there is much I can improve on, I generally like the person I am.

....About Patience

1. I have a general lack of it.
2. I've had to learn to have more of it. Homestudies take forever!
3. My son has no patience either. He's even worse than me, if that's possible.
4. Patience is a virtue, but virtues are sometimes overrated.
5. I truly hope I can remain patient while the path of Monster Man's future with us plays out.

....About Meeting Goals

1. Working my butt off to earn my Bachelors degree was totally worth it.
2. Despite the length of time it took to complete our homestudy, we did what we needed to do and Monster Man is the reward. So worth it there aren't even words to describe it.
3. If you set your mind to it, it really isn't that hard to read 50 books. And, hey, if you can arrange it so that the 50 Shades trilogy is 3 of those, then you've definitely had fun reaching the goal!

....About Friendship

1. 12,000 miles plays havoc on a friendship.
2. A friend with more desire to party than to be a good parent can also dampen a friendship.
3. Even though I don't feel at fault for the diminishing of either of those 2 close friendships, I do still feel heartsick that things turned out the way they did.

....About Musical Expression

1. 2012 was the year of the has-been comeback attempt - Mariah Carey, Britney Spears.
2. If the guests on Dick Clark's Rockin' New Year's Eve are any indication - Brandy - 2013 will carry on that tradition.
3. I am completely unopposed to the influx of folk and techno folk music that has taken over the charts in the last few months.
4. After 34 years, I seem to have finally developed my own sense of what music I love without requiring someone else's approval that I've made a good choice.

....About Making Plans

1. A great way to make sure your plans won't happen is to make them.
2. It really seems as if buying a home is not in the cards for us, as everytime we get near the signing line, The Hubs' job comes to an end.
3. While motherhood is fantastic, making plans just isn't something we can do easily because we don't know where he'll be in a few months.

....About The Future

1. Everything could change in a few months. Monster Man will either go back to his birthmom or he'll legally become ours.
2. Hopefully, new jobs are on the horizon for both The Hubs and I.
3. My mom will probably be moving in with us soon. This, of course, means finding a larger home and, hopefully, purchasing it.
4. We're hopeful the new jobs and move will be to a different - although not terrible distant - town.

Here's hoping your 2013 is full of nothing but good things!