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Hubby Update

Just a very quick post to let you know The Hubs' gallbladder is definitely a problem but his upper and lower endoscopic showed some minor irritation of his stomach. Gallbladder was set to come out next week but he has still been in constant pain and has been unable to eat, drink or sleep due to the pain. He was admitted to the hospital today because of the pain. He is also very dehydrated. Based on the location of the pain, the doctors think it is colitis. We're now having to wait for this to get some better so that his gallbladder can be removed. Hopefully, he'll be better soon!

ICLW & Sick Hubs

Happy ICLW! Since it's been so long since I did an introduction, I think I'll do that for this post.

I am Lynn, otherwise known as Wistfulgirl. I've been married to my fantastic husband (The Hubs) for 11 1/2 years. We spent almost 10 of those years attempting to start a family biologically, but it just wasn't in the cards for us. In 2012, we were approved as foster/adoptive parents. We received our first placement, a 22 1/2 month old little boy, on October 9, 2012. His birthmom voluntarily relinquished her rights to him in May 2013 and his birthdad's rights were terminated in October 2013. He was officially placed as an adoptive placement with us on February 6, 2014 and we finalized his adoption on March 3, 2014. He is our little Monkey =D

We had a sibling group we fostered from May 2013 until December 2013 when they moved on to an adoptive placement (we chose not to adopt them due to family being in the area and the danger associated with them).

In April 2014, we were made aware of and began visiting with a sibling group of 3 children, a boy and two girls. Upon the end of the school year, they moved in with us on May 17, 2014. Parental rights are in the process of being terminated and we are planning to adopt them. They are Prissy (13-year-old girl), The Dude (9-year-old boy) and Princess (8-year-old girl). We are in love with them and Monkey adores them! We're so excited for our family!

We're experiencing all the things we've never really done before. We're getting ready for school, which starts two weeks from today. It has been an experience buying new school clothes and supplies. I'm glad I have a year to plan for it before I have to do it again for all four children! Monkey will start Pre-K next year. Good learning experience for me though!

Sorry I went missing last week. It's been a rough week around our house. The Hubs is very sick. He's been experiencing a lot of abdominal pain for quite a while now, but it has gotten so much worse in the last week. The doctor is pretty sure his gallbladder isn't functioning properly but there is also a concern for Crohn's Disease being present. He had a Hida scan done on Friday to check the functioning of his gallbladder and he is scheduled for upper and lower endoscopies tomorrow. We don't yet have the results back from the Hida scan, but if the gallbladder isn't functioning, it will probably be removed at the same time.

It's quite probable I won't post tomorrow or get to visit any blogs due to being at the hospital with The Hubs, but I will be back ASAP and visiting! Expect me to come by your place on the web =D

Remaining Summer Plans

For a weekend that contained very little other than a Harry Potter marathon weekend on ABC Family, I feel incredibly tired. Part of this seems to be the fact that, no matter how tired I am, when I finally get to go to bed at night, I lie there unable to fall to sleep. So during the day, I'm exhausted. I wish I could break this cycle and feel less tired during the day.

The kids love it because they're getting to sleep longer each day. This will have to stop in a couple of weeks though, because school starts back in three weeks. They'll have to be getting up and getting ready for school early in the day. I'm actually looking forward to earlier bedtimes with the hopes I can get myself used to them. I'll miss the kids during the day, though, but it'll be nice to have some time with Monkey each day since he doesn't start school until next year. I'll have a 3rd grader, a 4th grader and a 7th grader this year. Seems so weird to think I'll have kids in school this year, lol! Will take some getting used to!

With such a short time left before school starts, we have several trips planned for the kiddos! This weekend we're going to see the site where Fried Green Tomatoes was filmed and then going on to a zoo. The following weekend, we're headed to the beach. The last weekend before school starts, we're going school clothes shopping. Lots to look forward to!

This afternoon, though, I have to go tackle the grocery shopping. With 4 children. By myself. Lord help me!

Down For The Count

I'm in a pretty bad mood today. My ankle is so very swollen and painful. At least it's not like I have anything to do like a house to clean or kids to parent....oh, wait =( Not good. Not good at all.

I'll be very honest. I'll be glad for the weekend to get here so The Hubs can be home. It's felt like a really long week and I miss him. I love the kids, don't get me wrong. But I've really missed The Hubs this week. Hopefully we can have a nice, relaxing weekend. The kids are wanting to go to the beach, but I think we'll save that for next weekend with the hopes my ankle will be better next week.

There is so much we have to get done over the next few weeks. School starts back in 3 1/2 weeks and I still have to get the kids registered as well as get their school clothes and supplies. We're trying to wait for the Sales Tax Free Weekend in Georgia, but I'm a little concerned because that is the weekend before school starts back on Monday. It feels like it's cutting it a little close, but it'll be alright. We'll make it work.

I think I'm going to start doing a little online window shopping for clothes so I'll know where to get the best deals from for the kids. I know the older two want clothes from Aeropostale and Holister (although, I'm not too sure about the latter) and the younger one wants clothes from Justice and Crazy 8's. Should be fun to at least start planning.

May give me something to do today, seeing as how I can't even walk! Hope you have a great day!

ENT Visit

Today is my only "busy" day this week. Monkey has an appointment today with his ENT. He was having a problem a few months ago with not being able to clear his lungs. We gave him antibiotics, steroids, breathing treatments, etc. Nothing was working. The ENT stated one of his tubes had expelled itself. We had a lung x-ray done to check for pneumonia, which was, fortunately, negative. Still he was coughing and rattly in his lungs.

Since then, his lungs have cleared up greatly. He still coughs some, but the rattle seems to have gone now. Hopefully, the ENT will release him today. I don't particularly care for his ENT. He's a bit abrupt and uncomfortable. Monkey doesn't like him either.

We also have church tonight. Since Prissy likes a boy in the church youth group, she's unlikely to let us miss tonight, lol! Having said that, The Hubs has been having a lot of problems with his stomach (gallbladder and diverticulitis) lately and is having a bad day. Also, my ankle is very swollen again today. We'll have to see how the day goes and how we're all feeling this evening.

I guess it's time for me to get this day going! I'll post more later!

Kids Gone Wild

Looks like this week will be slower than initially thought. Monkey was supposed to have speech therapy two days this week, but we had a call from the therapist to state that the authorization from his insurance has run out and she has to resubmit it. Until we get that approval through, we can't schedule any more visits. So, I'm working with him at home on his speech.

I really hope the kids are calmer today. Yesterday was a hard day. It seemed like every single thing I told them went in one ear and out the other. We have very few rules, but one of those is to ask before you take and/or do something. So, when I came out of my room from having a shower and discovered that Prissy was on my phone and was having The Dude get her a glass of chocolate milk (which he had spilled all over my counter) - none of which had anyone asked about - I was a little miffed. I took my phone off Prissy, cleaned up the milk and sent all four of them outside to play (we were having a fairly cool summer day in Georgia - only 85 degrees). Five minutes later, Princess came and asked "can we come back in now?" I told her no and sent her back out. Five minutes after that, Prissy came in and went to the restroom. When she finished, she snuck into her room. I went to see what she was doing only to find her settling down for a nap. After getting her up and sending her back out, I thought I might be able to get a little housework done in peace. About 10 minutes later, Prissy came in to tell me that The Dude had used a water gun to spray down the windows of my van with dirty water. Monkey had, in the meantime, gotten out his Power Wheels Jeep, which was in desperate need of cleaning and was running into the van and the house with it.

The Hubs got home around that time and he set The Dude to washing the van. Prissy went to pout on the swingset. Princess was warned off helping The Dude with the threat of time-out. Monkey was gotten out of his jeep and put in the bathtub to wash the grime from the jeep off of him. And I went back to making dinner.

I was so ready for bedtime to get here! I'm really hoping today is better. Otherwise, I may pull my hair out!! May your day be a good one!

July Fourth Followup

Hope you all had a wonderful Fourth of July! We had a great weekend. Thursday night I put steaks in a marinade so they were ready to go on Friday. We grilled sirloin steak and had baked potatoes, baked beans and salad with it. It was sooooo good! Afterwards, we took the kids to see the Fireworks. It was a great night!

On Saturday, we went swimming at my sister's house. The kids had fun and The Hubs and I got to introduce them to the game "Assasin". So much fun! We had church yesterday and that was pretty much our whole weekend!

The Hubs and I did make Toad in the Hole for the kids for lunch yesterday. It was a real winner! Princess - who is incredibly picky about her food - declared it delicious! We call that a win! Definitely in our repertoire of meals for the future. That's handy since our kids are so picky about their food.

I'm not normally one to play Facebook games, but I have recently become addicted to one I recently discovered called Township. I love it! But kind of hate it at the same time. I enjoy playing it, but it moves very slowly - it's one where things are made over time and I'm currently up to it taking several hours for things to be made. I know this is done to encourage you to purchase additions with real money, but I flat refuse to spend money on something so silly. I guess I'll just play til I lose interest and then move on to the next game.

Have a fairly relaxed day planned today before the chaos starts again tomorrow. Getting ready now to start school shopping for the kids since school starts in less than a month!!! Have a great day folks!

July Fourth Prep

I have no huge plans for today, but I do have a few things I need to get done. First off, I need to finish purchasing the materials for our Fourth of July meal. I've already purchsed the steaks and hot dogs we'll be grilling. Today I need to get potatoes to bake and salad. After that, I need to clean house and then I have some peas to shell. I actually like shelling peas, so that will be fun.

I plan to go ahead and get head to the supermarket before the kids get up. My mom will watch them while I'm gone to the store. It'll be a pleasant break to head out by myself. Of course, I'll also be glad to get back to them after I've finished my shopping but it is nice to have a small break. But....I do have to make it out of the house before they wake up first!!

It'll be good to have The Hubs home for an extra day this weekend! I can't wait to go with him and the kids tomorrow night to see the fireworks. It's always my favourite part of July 4th and it's been our custom for the last 8 years to go see the fireworks at the same venue. So much fun!

Guess I'd better get going. Time to get one more cup of coffee, finish watching the rerun of Charmed I'm watching and get a shower to get ready to head out. Have a great day!

Interesting Phone Call

I received an interesting phone call yesterday. It was from Monkey's birthmom's boyfriend's mother. She wanted to let me know Monkey's bio sister had been born and to express her concerns about the baby's safety. She also had some questions about why Monkey was placed in foster care.

Without going into details, Monkey's birthmom had told her boyfriend's mother that the reason Monkey was put into foster care was completely innocent reasons and an unfair and illegal placement. She also failed to tell her that she voluntarily gave up her rights to Monkey. And that Monkey at 22 1/2 months old only weighed 18 pounds when he came to us. Basically, her version was that she was completely innocent and her child was ripped away from her for no reason.

This was simply not true. There were some serious neglect issues behind Monkey's placement.

I explained some of this to the boyfriend's mother - what I could at least without violating privacy issues. I basically told her if she had concerns that she should report it to her local Child Protective Services. As much as I have my own concerns, I have seen nothing with my own eyes. I only have hearsay knowledge. She, on the other hand, has witnessed the things she has concerns about. Therefore, she will need to report it herself.

I'm not sure what will happen with the whole situation, but I hope they find the best living situation for that child. She deserves a good life.

Our Lost Baby

Something happened recently that I haven't yet reported on my blog. Our dog we've had for 12 years passed away on June 13. It was a devestating loss for us.

We got Pog (who's real name was Isabel) on October 5, 2002. She was a rescued dog. I remember the date she came into our lives so clearly. It was the day I got my wedding gown. We went to the shelter to choose a dog. We were looking for a small dog who could stay inside and be with me while The Hubs (or The Fiance at the time) was at work. She was one of many dogs we saw that day and she was not the dog most people would have chosen. The Hubs' dad and step-mum were with us. She would not come to the front of her pin to see us when all four of us stood before her. However, when The Hubs and his dad and step-mum moved on, I stayed behind. That sweet little girl inched forward and licked my hand then. I was a gonner!

She went home with us a few days later, after she had been given her shots and checked over by the vet. She was my comfort during those days in England when I was so homesick! She kept me company during the days when The Hubs was at work. It was so great to be able to get out with her and take walks. She was a wonderful companion. She was very protective of me; she kept me from walking out in front of traffic when I looked the wrong way (I was an American girl in a country that drives on the opposite side of the road from what I was used to, after all. And, not used to walking much of anywhere, as I was also raised in a rural area where you have to drive to get where you want to go.). She was such a great friend.

When our life changed and we immigrated to the USA, it was simply unthinkable that she wouldn't come with us! So, we got her paperwork all done and she flew on the same flight we did and became a US pup. She enjoyed living in the USA because it was a lot easier for her to get more outside time. She could even go outside off her lead! She acclimated very well.

She was our first child. During the dark days of infertility, she filled a bit of the void our childlessness left. I can't count the number of times I held her and cried into her soft fur. She was great for snuggling when you were feeling down. And she always knew when you just needed to hold her. She never tried to wrestle away from you when you were feeling down. She just stayed still dand received the love you were giving while returning the cuddles you needed.

When our children came to live with us, she was so jealous!! We had to transition her to being an outside dog because she growled and barked at the baby so much. Over time, she came to love him and they had a great relationship. Monkey loved her so much! Since she's been gone, he has talked ceaselessly about "my Izzy Belle". Whenever we watch The Wizard of Oz (one of his favourite movies), he always points at Toto (whom Isabel Pog resembled) and asks for her. It's been a hard time for him, as well as for us. During Vacation Bible School last week, one of the lessons was about Jesus being our treasure in Heaven. The children were given little plastic coins to represent this and when Monkey put his coin in his bag, he pointed at it and told his daddy "Isabel is in my bag". She's his treasure in Heaven.

The other children didn't get an opportunity to become as close to her as Monkey did, but they loved her as well. I think, when you've lost so much in you young life, it's difficult to add another thing to that list. With that being said, although The Hubs and I would have preferred to wait a while before getting another puppy, we decided it was better for the kids to go ahead and welcome a new puppy into our home, thus Sophie came to live with us. She'll never replace Pog, but we'll love her as well.

Here's to our beautful Pog Dog who will be forever loved and never forgotten!

Monday Morning Blather

This week should be a bit more calm than last week. Monkey does have speech therapy today and tomorrow, but, after that, we don't have a lot planned. I'm looking forward to Friday and our annual Fourth of July celebration. Our usual tradition is to grill out and then go see the fireworks. It's not an amazing plan, but it's a lot of fun for us. Should be a good time with our additions this year!

We had a pretty good weekend. We didn't do a lot, but it was relaxing. I do find it difficult to post on the weekends, so I may wind up not doing that. At least I'm posting more and I'm grateful for that. I hope I can keep it up. Although, I'm kind of at a loss what to blog about. Nothing terribly interesting has happened over the last few days and I can't think of anything I've read in the news that I have comments on.

Basically, I'm a bore today, lol!

I think I'll leave it at that for now. I may post again later today if I can think of anything else. If not, I'll "see" you tomorrow!

Birth of a Bio Sister

We got some huge news this morning. It may not wind up affecting us directly, but still big news all the same. Monkey's birthmom gave birth to another baby yesterday. A little girl. We were initially told, when she voluntarily relinquished rights, that if she became pregnant prior to Monkey's adoption finalizing, the baby would be picked up and placed in foster care and that we would have the first option of placement.

It may be crazy, but I really, really, really hope we get a call for the baby to place with us! I know, I know. We already have 4 children and that should be enough, but it would be so amazing to have Monkey's biological sibling and a baby at that! I know we could parent 5 children, so that's not a worry. I just don't know if DFCS (Department of Family and Children Services) is going to follow up on it as they said. Frankly, I feel they should. Yes, Monkey's bio mom voluntarily relinquished rights, but, because she refused to do what the State asked of her and because the parenting classes she was ordered to take stated she wasn't a fit parent, rights were going to be terminated anyway had she not relinquished. Surely they'll at least investigate for this child?

If we find out any more, I'll update. Just please keep positive thoughts flowing this way and, if you pray, say a prayer for us and for the baby! For birthmom too. If she does get to keep the baby, she needs thoughts and prayers that she'll be able and willing to care for her the way she needs.

A Nana Rant

Today should be a little calmer than the last couple of days. We still have some activities for today - Monkey has speech therapy and The Dude has a pool party for his church Boys Club this evening - but it will hopefully be a little more relaxed than previous days.

I'm feeling a lot of frustration today with my mother. I should probably explain (if I hadn't previously) that my mom (Nana) lives with us, so she has a lot of interaction with the kiddos. She is head over heels for Monkey, but is hypercritical of the other kids. I'm not really sure what the problem is, but it is draining. Not a single day goes by that she isn't scolding them for something that really seems trivial to The Hubs and I and then she wants us to punish them for it. She refuses to go by the rules The Hubs and I set, instead choosing to set much more rigid and strict rules for them and getting angry with us when we don't follow those rules. She gets very upset that she isn't in charge and disparages us to the kids. It's very upsetting.

For instance, yesterday she went with us on our errands. I had, at one point, left her and the kids in the van while I tended to some business. While I was doing this, Princess decided to get in the floor and clear up some of the mess the kids had made in the van. Nana got very angry with her and accused her of being disrespectful. Personally, I'm like "Hey! She's cleaning! Yay!" and see no problem with this, but Nana disagreed. Seperately, we have some issues with how she acts towards Prissy. Prissy is a newly 13-year-old and, therefore, acting as teenage girls do. She does push boundaries and try to act older than she is, but Nana has some real issues with this. In a previous placement, Prissy had some problems with the foster family saying things like "You're acting just like your mom. You'll turn out no better than her." This is something we agreed not to do. Frankly, we don't know her birthmom (have never met her) so can't say how she is. Besides, she doesn't need to have things like this said to her. We feel it's bullying. Nana, on the other hand, feels that it's not, that it just "reminds her that how she's acting is trashy". Um....I still see that as bullying and don't want my daughter treated that way. Her problems with The Dude stem from the fact that he has ADHD and is contstantly talking and going 90 to nothing. I know it's difficult behaviour to deal with, but The Hubs and I manage to deal without giving him a complex. Why can't she?

She also has issues with us. She still tries to treat me like I'm a child. I'm not allowed to have an opinion of my own. If I express one, she disparages it and picks it apart before tossing it out as not useful. She constantly criticizes both The Hubs and I to the children and to other people, playing it off as humour. We found a home that she could move into with us because she is not really able health-wise to live on her own. We split the bills on the home with her. She feels this gives her carte blanche to tell the children that this is HER home and SHE pays the bills. I'd like to know how she figures this since we pay a significantly larger portion of the bills than she does. She also feels that because she pays a portion of the bills, this gives her the right to have her furniture in every single room in the house, to change the way I have things decorated to suit her taste rather than mine and to criticize any changes we would like to make. She gets incredibly angry if I don't agree that her way is the ONLY way to have things. I'll also add that I do ALL of the cooking in our home and she never, ever says thank you, instead choosing to make at least one critical remark on the meal at every, single mealtime. It's obvious enough that it's been commented on by the children and, previously, by The Hubs' mum when she visited in March. I find it very frustrating and hurtful.

It really seems an untenable situation, but also see no other solution to the situation. She can't live by herself. None of my siblings are going to step up and let her live with them. I've talked to her about my feelings on her actions, she doesn't feel there is anything wrong with how she acts and refuses to change. She feels I need to change to be exactly like her and that is not going to happen either, so.....we come to an empass. Sorry to unload all this on you, but I really needed to vent. I don't know what is going to happen, but I feel very much at my wits end!

Another Busy, Boring Day

Another busy day today! All four kids have a doctor's appointment this morning. Lots to get accomplished in that and I'm really hoping I don't forget to bring up any points. After that, we have to stop by the store again to pick up the things I forgot yesterday. I find myself forgetting a lot more now that we have four children rather than one, lol! We have a small reprieve after than until we have to get ready for the final night of Vacation Bible School at church. The kids are having a water slide to play on there tonight. Should be good fun for them.

I have worked out that the best way of blogging for me is to do it in the mornings. I feel more creative that way. More able to write. So my new routine is to get up when The Hubs gets up to get ready for work, make myself a cup of coffee, blog and play on the computer whilst watching old reruns of "Charmed", then shower and get the kids up. This will work for summer, although I'll have to develop a new routine when school starts back. I'll make it work though.

I've been thinking about creating a new blog to work on my creative writing. Blogging is great, but I want something to help me open my imagination up again. The Hubs and I purchased a book a while back with writing ideas in it. I think I may use that to give me writing ideas for each day. We'll see. I'll have to see if I have time for it after I get this week finished.

Seems my time is up now. I have to go get my shower and get ready for the doctor's visits before getting the kiddos up. Will post again tomorrow! Have a wonderful day!

New Day, New Duties

Today has the words "busy, busy, busy" written all over it!

I decided to take a moment to blog and enjoy my cup of coffee before beginning the craziness that is going to be this day. First off, I have to go this morning and get (at least 2 of) my children registered for next school term. Since they were attending a different school, I have to get their records transferred. This should be interesting. I've never done this before and, despite all of our life experiences and appearances, I don't enjoy or feel comfortable doing new things. That should take up my morning. At 2pm, Monkey has speech therapy one town away. After that, I have to rush home to make dinner and get all the kids ready for Vacation Bible School at church this evening at 7pm. Somewhere in the midst of all of this, I have to do some grocery shopping.

I feel tired already.

The only good part of all of this is that I plan to leave the kids this morning with Nana. They'll be with me this afternoon - unless of course I can convince Nana to take Monkey to speech therapy - and that will be challenging enough. Hopefully, I won't lose my mind, lol!

Anyway, sorry to be so brief today, but I must be off! Will attempt a longer post tomorrow, but the next couple of days are looking to be as busy as this one! Toodles!

A New Start?

Here we are again with it having been months and months since I last posted. I'm hoping to actually make a new start at blogging. I have more time now, since I have now transitioned to being a SAHM, but I digress. Let me start from the beginning and update you.

When last I posted, we were in the early stages of Monkey's adoption. I am incredibly pleased to report that we finalized his adoption on March 3, 2014! He is officially ours! We are so very excited and totally in love with our little boy =)

The last time I posted, we also had two other young children living with us who were available for adoption, but, due to circumstances, we were not going to be adopting them. I am pleased (for them) to announce they have now moved on to their adoptive home. They left us at the end of December (after Christmas) and are reported to be doing well.

We were back to being a family of only one child for about 5 months. In April, we determined we were ready to grow our family more and we requested a referral on some children living in North Carolina through Adopt Us Kids. We advised our caseworker we were doing this and she was suportive. Four hours (yes, hours) after our request for information, we heard back on the children in North Carolina that they had a lot of interest, so were restricting it to North Carolina families only. I called our caseworker to update her and she had news for me that she had received an email that morning about a sibling group of 3 who were in need of an adoptive home. She gave me the name of their caseworker and it was the same caseworker Monkey had! We felt it was a good sign.

I spoke with the kids' caseworker that same day and got information on them. They seemed to be a good match for us, so I asked for a meet and greet with them. The caseworker stated she would talk with the kids and try to arrange this. It took about 3 weeks, but we finally met with the children. We had an instant connection with them and began weekend visits with them in order for them to finish the school year out at their current schools. School finished on May 16 and the kids moved in with us on May 17! The Hubs and I discussed our situation in great detail and finally decided I should become a stay-at-home mom. So I finished my last day at work on May 30.

The kids have been living with us for just over a month and things are going well so far. We've had some minor problems, but that is to be expected. We have lots to learn about being a family of 6, but we're getting there! We feel very good about our family choices!

Termination of parental rights (TPR) is still pending on the new children. The caseworker is hoping for a smooth termination and for finalization by Christmas. They would put us finalizing all four adoptions in one year! The children are a 13-year-old girl (Prissy), a 9-year-old boy (The Dude) and an 8-year-old girl (Princess). The girls are very, very girly! They love clothes and makeup and nail polish. Total little divas! The Dude is a sports guy, so he and The Hubs have truly hit it off well! We're very excited about our growing family and are hopeful things will go smoothly. Please wish us luck while we continue to grow our family!

I'm going to be trying to blog daily. I'm hopeful I'll be able to do this and I hope you'll join me on my journey! I'm also planning to be redoing my blog design some. This would be helped along if I could find my Paint Shop Pro to install on our computer but, so far, no luck in locating it. If anyone feels like donating a blog design, I'm up for it, lol!! In the meantime, I'll be working on what I can find to update the design myself. Til next time!

Open Adoption Following Foster Care

Yesterday afternoon we had a visit with MM's firstmom. I guess I should take a moment to explain what our arrangements are with her.

When she spoke with us in May about surrendering her rights and us adopting MM, she told us that she wanted to be able to call once per week, visit with him once per month and receive photos throughout the year. She had her final DFCS monitored (well, it was supposed to be DFCS monitored but no one actually monitored it) visit with him on August 2nd. She wanted to schedule another visit soon as she hadn't seen him since May (her choice), so we agreed to a visit on August 17th.

The first visit on August 2nd went very well. There was no real awkwardness to it and she brought us the remainder of MM's things she had, including his baby book (complete with ultrasound pics!). We felt blessed. We felt like the situation was going to work out okay for everyone involved. We tentatively agreed that MM would call her Mama (Firstmom's name), at least for a while.

The August 17th visit was a little more awkward. Because she was going to have her new fiancé (whom she got engaged to the day before she relinquished her rights to MM, then broke up with before the August 2nd visit, and got back together with before the August 17th visit) with her, we arranged the visit to be at McDonalds. I'll be the first to admit I was a little nervous about the possibility of her trying to snatch MM. While she did make the choice to relinquish her rights, it was more of a forced choice. The State was going to be seeking termination if she hadn't surrendered her rights, so that is the reason for my nervousness. And that was the reason for our planning the visit in a public place. The first thing that made it awkward was that the fiancé's daughters were with them and MM's firstmom proceeded to introduce MM to them as their little brother and told him to call them "Sissy". Mama (Firstmom's name) was dropped in favour of "Mama" or "Mommy" when she was referring to herself. We had adjacent tables and she grabbed MM from us and took him to the opposite end of their table. He was shouting across the room "Mommy! That's my Mommy!" and pointing at me. I could tell this irritated her a bit but she didn't comment on it. She just kept carrying him around and away from where we were. We allowed the visit to go on for about 3 hours before we finally called it to a close. Everything seemed okay. She asked for a visit again in 2 weeks but we had plans for that weekend and the weekend after that. So we planned for a possible visit on September 21st.

She continued to call during the weeks between visits as we had agreed she could. Two weeks following the August 17th visit when she called, MM cried on the phone because he was confused. She was calling herself "Mommy" to him and he wasn't understanding that she wasn't meaning me. So when she told him "Mommy has to go" he thought I was leaving him. When we were finishing the call, she said she'd call the next day. She called the following day and it was a repeat of the previous day's call. MM just finds it very confusing. Also, she has started calling 2 or 3 times per week as opposed to the once per week we agreed on.

Yesterday's visit arrived and it was being held at a park. I was still a little nervous because of the way she's been acting recently, but I want to uphold our end of the arrangement so we arrived as planned. MM's firstmom met us at the car and snatched him out of his carseat. She immediately started walking away when he started screaming to get away from her and yealling "Mommy! Mommy!". She told him "Mommy's right here!" to which he answered "No! My mommy there!" and pointed at me. This really, really upset her. It continued in this vein for a while and she finally walked over to her fiancé and his mom and started crying. She said "He doesn't call me Mommy anymore! Why doesn't he call me Mommy? I'm his Mommy!" She was getting more and more worked up and was acting rather hostile towards us. The visit carried on for 2 hours. At one point, the fiancé's mom was ready to leave when MM's firstmom said "No! I have another 30 minutes left until my 2 hours are up and I am getting my 2 hours!" We have never set a time limit on the visits. We've never said they were going to be 2 hours long or 1 hour long or 3 hours long or set any kind of timeframe. Two hours was her arbitrary setting.

So, that's the story so far. I feel so confused because I really want to do what is best for MM. I thought that was to definitely continue visits with his firstmom, but now I'm not entirely sure. I guess my question is, am I overreacting? Is how she's acting normal and to be expected? Is it acceptable? Am I being unreasonable or is this as not okay as I feel it is? We reiterated to her that she is to be called Mama (Firstmom's name), not Mommy or Mama, but she seems to be ignoring that. In fact, she got upset every time he called her that. I just don't know what to do and I'd like your opinions.

ICLW -FIrst time for a year!

Welcome to anyone visiting me from ICLW, as well as anyone who just stumbled by (although, after all this time, I can't imagine that happening)! This is my first ICLW in a year! I'm really rather looking forward to it =D I guess it's time I get started back blogging regularly anyway.

Let's see. I think I'll start by giving you a bit of our history. The Hubs and I met online in August 2000. He's from England and I'm from the US, so for a couple of years we visited back and forth across the Atlantic. In June 2002, I went to England for what was supposed to be a 2 week visit and, while there, The Hubs asked me to marry him. I said yes and in November of that year, we were married in my hometown in Georgia. We chose to reside the first few years of our married life in England. In January 2006, following a year-long immigration journey, we moved to the USA to live. We've been here ever since.

On our first anniversary, we decided we were ready to be parents, so we stopped preventing a pregnancy. After about a year with no sign of pregnancy, I began temping and charting my cycle. That carried on for the next few years. We were convinced it would happen, but it never did. In September 2008, I carried my concerns to my OB/GYN. She diagnosed me with Type II Diabetes and started me on Metformin. After a few months of that and still no pregnancy, she prescribed Clomid for me. Four cycles of that and still nada, so she prescribed a round of Femara at my request. Still nothing. It was time to look at the next step. We were referred to a Reproductive Endocrinologist with our first visit in April 2010.

During the first few visits with our new RE, I was diagnosed with Hypothyroidism and Endometrial Hyperplasia. I was prescribed Synthroid, referred to a regular endocrinologist and had a D&C. I was also advised to lose weight. A year and a half of visits with the RE failed to produce a pregnancy - in fact, due to my failure to lose weight, the treatment we were given was minimal. By September 2011, we were ready to move forward with a different path to parenthood.

Earlier in our journey, we had two failed private adoption opportunities. I won't go on in length about those because they're still very painful (particularly the first one), but they are part of what led us to our decision to adopt through foster care. We sat down and looked at all the options available to us for adopting. We knew we didn't want to try private adoption again at this time, so our decision was between adopting through an agency or foster adoption. After discussing it at length, we decided the children in foster care had less of an opportunity to find an adoptive family than those through an agency, so that was the option we went with. We had viewed the "My Turn Now" list of children in Georgia who were available for adoption and we found a 14-year-old girl we were very interested in adopting. We called the State hotline to start the process of becoming foster/adoptive parents in October 2011.

In November 2011 we still had heard nothing back from our request for further information, so I called again and found there had been a glitch and we had not been added to the list. This phone call, we were added. A few days later, we received an invite to an orientation class, which we attended in late November 2011. We turned in consents for background checks at that meeting and then had to wait for a call back to start IMPACT training classes. By February 2012, we'd heard nothing more and several phone calls to our caseworker had not been answered so I called again directly to the local DFCS to find out what was going on. I was redirected to another caseworker as our original one was no longer employed at DFCS (hence the reason we'd had no further contact) and was told she didn't even have our names or our file. She went in search of said file, found it and sent our invites for IMPACT training. We had our first class at the end of February 2012. We attended 10 weeks of training classes and finished our last class on April 10, 2012. Our next step was to proceed through the home study process. We did this throughout the summer of 2012 and, in September 2012, our homestudy was submitted to the State of Georgia for approval. We received a call from our caseworker on September 26, 2012 saying that our homestudy had been approved and our home would open on October 1, 2012.

We were awaiting a call back from the caseworker of the girl we were hoping to adopt when, on October 9, 2012, we received a phone call from our caseworker with the words "Look, I know this isn't what you signed up for, but we have a 2-year-old little boy we need placement for. Is there any way you could keep him?" Those are the words that would change our lives forever. We told her we definitely could and 2 hours later, we picked up our Monkey Man (or MM). He has been with us ever since. In May 2013, his birthmom sat down with us and told us she was thinking of voluntarily relinquishing her rights if we would adopt him. We had hoped for the opportunity to adopt him anyway, so this was a complete blessing. We told her yes and agreed to an open adoption with her. We are now waiting for his birthdad's rights to terminate, which should happen in October. His birthdad actually spoke to MM's caseworker recently and requested for surrender papers to be sent to him as he no longer wished to be involved (which he basically hasn't been anyway). Once those rights are terminated, we just have to wait for all the legal time frames to be met and then we will finalize his adoption! We are so excited!

Additionally, on May 24, 2013, we had two more children come to live with us temporarily, a 4-year-old boy and a 3-year-old girl. They are quite the handful, but we're making it with each other. Their mom voluntarily surrendered her rights in July and their dad's rights are set to be terminated in November. Their maternal grandmother has petitioned for custody, but we don't know if this will work out or not. In the meantime, DFCS is looking into other possible permanency solutions for them. We are not being considered a permanent placement at this time because of their more extensive needs, however, we are hoping whatever permanency they do have will allow us to maintain visitation with them.

As for the girl we originally hoped to adopt, we were informed she cannot be in a home with other children and we would not be considered a placement for her. This was heartbreaking news, but we only want the best for her and the other children in our care, so we will forge on. We do hope to adopt at least one more child, but we will see where our path takes us. For now, we are just enjoying life.

So, that gets you up-to-date with me. We actually have a visit planned with MM's birthmom for this afternoon, so I will be able to update you on that situation later on. I'm looking forward to blogging more regularly once again and I hope you'll join me!

Uh...Yeah...We're Still Here

Wow! It's literally been months since I posted! Can't believe I have neglected my blog this long. Where to begin to update you?

Okay, I'll just start by saying that our little Monster Man (or Monkey Man, if you prefer, MM for short) is still with us. In all honesty, unless something very unexpected happens, he will not be leaving us! Last month on May 14, I received a call from MM's caseworker who stated that his birthmom wanted to meet with The Hubs and I to discuss MM. We met with her on Wednesday, May 15 after her visit with MM. We met privately, just her and us in the DFCS conference room. Her side of the conversation? "I love my little boy very much and I would dearly love to take him home and give him everything he needs, but I know I can't give him what he needs, I can't give him what you guys can give him and I want the best for my little boy. You guys are the very best! You love him so much and you treat him as if he were your own. If I sign my rights over, would you please adopt him?"

Obviously our answer was a resounding YES!!! So she went that evening and voluntarily relinquished her rights. I didn't have to be with her, but she asked me to go and she held my hand while she signed. We are planning to have an open adoption. She will have the ability to see him once a month (I was going for twice a month, but she only wanted once a month and with The Hubs and I both there for the visits so she can get to know us better too), will be able to call at least once a week but not more than every other day to check on him and will receive photos of him throughout the year. As long as she wants to stay in the picture and doesn't bring anything that would be harmful to MM into the mix, we're more than willing to let her have these small concessions.

She had 10 days to change her mind, which actually turned into 12 days due to the 10th day being a Sunday and the 11th day being Memorial Day, but her time is up now and she did not retract her termination of rights. Now DFCS is in the process of hunting down the dad, who hasn't been in the picture since MM's 1st birthday, to attempt to get him to sign rights over. If they are unable to find him, they'll publish in the legal section of the newspapers around his last known address and will terminate in absentia. Then we simply have to complete things from our side and MM will officially be ours!! If everything goes exactly to plan, we should finalize in September. MM has been with us 8 months already, so there'll be no extra wait time from the placement end.

Right after this happened, on May 24th, MM's caseworker called and asked us if there was any way we could take two more children, a boy aged 4 and a girl aged 3. The boy has ADHD and some aggression issues, but we discussed it overnight (they were moving from another foster home so it wasn't an emergency situation) and decided we were going to give it a shot. So, they've been with us for nearly 3 weeks now. They are a handful, to say the least!! They are almost certainly only going to be a temporary placement as their mom has nearly completed her caseplan and they go back to court in July. If the caseplan has not been met at that time, DFCS will have to petition for termination of rights because the kids have been in care for 12 months now. The caseworker stated she was definitely going to be pushing mom to complete the caseplan. Should these two become available for adoption, I don't think we will be adopting them. Short-term, we can manage with them, but long-term they don't really feel like a good fit for our family. They need more individual attention than we are able to give them all the time. We still have to think about MM and they are a little too young to understand that he matters too. And their behavior most days is atrocious!! We're working with them, though, to see if we can help them any at all. Hopefully, their mom will be able to complete her caseplan. She actually seems to be an okay person, but when she was with their dad, there were a lot of issues such as inadequate supervision, substance abuse and domestic violence at play. She is now no longer with him, so fingers crossed she can make it work for her and them. At the end of the day, they need a stable, loving environment to go home to. They need someone who can devote the attention they deserve to them. For the short-term, we can do that, but long-term I just don't think we're the right fit for them.

So that's what we've been up to the last few months. Lots of things going on and very little time to spend blogging, not to mention my laptop crashed in February and I have to borrow The Hubs' computer to do anything at all online. I'm hopefully going to be able to afford to replace it in the next couple of months, but I think I'll do that with a Kindle Fire HD, as my Kindle is also attempting to die on me. I am electronically challenged, lol! I'm currently out of work for 2 weeks because I had to have my tonsils removed this past Monday. I'm in quite a bit of pain at the moment, but I know it's gonna get better. Still looking for a new job but no luck yet. Keeping fingers crossed something better will come along very soon.

Toodles!