July Fourth Followup

Hope you all had a wonderful Fourth of July! We had a great weekend. Thursday night I put steaks in a marinade so they were ready to go on Friday. We grilled sirloin steak and had baked potatoes, baked beans and salad with it. It was sooooo good! Afterwards, we took the kids to see the Fireworks. It was a great night!

On Saturday, we went swimming at my sister's house. The kids had fun and The Hubs and I got to introduce them to the game "Assasin". So much fun! We had church yesterday and that was pretty much our whole weekend!

The Hubs and I did make Toad in the Hole for the kids for lunch yesterday. It was a real winner! Princess - who is incredibly picky about her food - declared it delicious! We call that a win! Definitely in our repertoire of meals for the future. That's handy since our kids are so picky about their food.

I'm not normally one to play Facebook games, but I have recently become addicted to one I recently discovered called Township. I love it! But kind of hate it at the same time. I enjoy playing it, but it moves very slowly - it's one where things are made over time and I'm currently up to it taking several hours for things to be made. I know this is done to encourage you to purchase additions with real money, but I flat refuse to spend money on something so silly. I guess I'll just play til I lose interest and then move on to the next game.

Have a fairly relaxed day planned today before the chaos starts again tomorrow. Getting ready now to start school shopping for the kids since school starts in less than a month!!! Have a great day folks!

July Fourth Prep

I have no huge plans for today, but I do have a few things I need to get done. First off, I need to finish purchasing the materials for our Fourth of July meal. I've already purchsed the steaks and hot dogs we'll be grilling. Today I need to get potatoes to bake and salad. After that, I need to clean house and then I have some peas to shell. I actually like shelling peas, so that will be fun.

I plan to go ahead and get head to the supermarket before the kids get up. My mom will watch them while I'm gone to the store. It'll be a pleasant break to head out by myself. Of course, I'll also be glad to get back to them after I've finished my shopping but it is nice to have a small break. But....I do have to make it out of the house before they wake up first!!

It'll be good to have The Hubs home for an extra day this weekend! I can't wait to go with him and the kids tomorrow night to see the fireworks. It's always my favourite part of July 4th and it's been our custom for the last 8 years to go see the fireworks at the same venue. So much fun!

Guess I'd better get going. Time to get one more cup of coffee, finish watching the rerun of Charmed I'm watching and get a shower to get ready to head out. Have a great day!

2012 Parting Thoughts - What I've Learned......

....About Motherhood

1. It is possible to love someone so much you would do absolutely anything for them.
2. It doesn't matter if you share half of your child's DNA or none of it, they have your heart wrapped around their little finger and can do no wrong in your eyes.
3. There will never, ever, ever be enough room in your home for you, your spouse, your child and the myriad of toys that Santa brings. Ever.
4. Your borderline OCD compulsion for a neat and tidy home will never survive the first month of life with a child.
5. Sippy cups should be made with wings, as they fly more often than any bird I've ever seen.
6. Ditto baby spoons and plates.
7. The food that your child adores today will not meet the standard of approval tomorrow.
8. A cheeky baby smile can make a terrible day suddenly seem like one of your best.
9. No matter how tired you are, you will find the energy to cook, clean, play, bathe, read, rock to sleep, get to bed at midnight, be up during the night and get up again at 6am to do it all over again with a smile on your face and a prayer of thanks in your heart for being given the amazing blessing of a child.
10. A snuggle and a simple "Wub you!" is worth all the waiting you ever did.

....About Grief

1. Despite the assurities that time heals the pain, it's still as acute now as it was the day my Daddy passed away.
2. Fresh waves of grief can hit you at the oddest times - in the middle of a movie, during a commercial, watching your niece graduate from high school, during your own college graduation, the day your child comes to live with you, putting out Christmas decorations, helping Santa place gifts under the tree - moments you'd never expect to feel sad during.
3. Even during the second Thanksgiving and Christmas without him, I still expect to see him laughing and asking for another piece of turkey.
4. Despite my fears, the sound of his voice has yet to fade from my memory.
5. Ditto his unique "Daddy" smell.
6. He would have loved his little grandson.
7. Proof that he sends me gifts - our certainty that no photos of our entire family (parents and all 4 kids) as adults existed was shattered mere days before my birthday when I discovered a photo taken two days after Christmas in 2004, the last time we were all home that wasn't because Daddy was sick.

....About a Decade of Marriage

1. Even after 10 years of marriage, my husband is still a bed cover thief.
2. Despite knowing it frustrates me, it is a certainty that when I'm feeling agitated, my husband will make silly comments.
3. No matter how much Dr. Pepper I buy, it will disappear in a matter of a couple of days.
4. Magic the Gathering trading cards are always the perfect go-to item when I'm stuck for a gift idea.
5. Shoes will never last more than 6 months
6. Dinner and a movie with my hubby is still the greatest night out ever.
7. Years of waiting for it to happen have made my hubby a fantastic daddy, even if he was absolutely terrified he would screw it up.
8. I married a great man.

....About Faith

1. The bad actions of a few church members should not be allowed to discourage me from worshiping.
2. Being in a place of worship always has the power of soothing me when I feel disheartened.
3. The Lord (my belief) will always see me through any situation as long as I maintain faith in His omnipetence.
4. Good things come when the time is right.
5. Life has a way of working out for the best (cliche, but true).

....About Family

1. My mom depends on me more than I ever thought possible.
2. I can't seem to do things I want to do or that are in my best interest if my family needs me to do something else.
3. My nieces reacted completely differently to the addition of Monster Man than I expected. The younger of the two, at age 11, has been excited, loving and generous to the point of spending her own money to buy him gifts. The older, at 19, has been incredibly jealous to the point of crying that more money was spent on him for Christmas than on her. While the first lightens my heart, the latter truly saddens me.
4. Since my dad's death, I feel much more responsible for my family.
5. I still hate talking on the phone, even to my family who take it personally. It's not meant that way.

....About The Shy Side of 35

1. The older I get, the quicker the years pass.
2. My body thinks it's older than my 34 years.
3. Due to that phenomenon, I now understand why people have children in their 20's.
4. My mind still wants to be a late night person, but my body is a 7am-at-the-latest waker.
5. I'm allowed to find younger guys hot as long as they're famous and, therefore, completely out of reach.
6. My current career makes me really unhappy.
7. I'm far too willing to allow people to run over me to avoid conflict.
8. I'm very judgmental about famous people.
9. While I do feel there is much I can improve on, I generally like the person I am.

....About Patience

1. I have a general lack of it.
2. I've had to learn to have more of it. Homestudies take forever!
3. My son has no patience either. He's even worse than me, if that's possible.
4. Patience is a virtue, but virtues are sometimes overrated.
5. I truly hope I can remain patient while the path of Monster Man's future with us plays out.

....About Meeting Goals

1. Working my butt off to earn my Bachelors degree was totally worth it.
2. Despite the length of time it took to complete our homestudy, we did what we needed to do and Monster Man is the reward. So worth it there aren't even words to describe it.
3. If you set your mind to it, it really isn't that hard to read 50 books. And, hey, if you can arrange it so that the 50 Shades trilogy is 3 of those, then you've definitely had fun reaching the goal!

....About Friendship

1. 12,000 miles plays havoc on a friendship.
2. A friend with more desire to party than to be a good parent can also dampen a friendship.
3. Even though I don't feel at fault for the diminishing of either of those 2 close friendships, I do still feel heartsick that things turned out the way they did.

....About Musical Expression

1. 2012 was the year of the has-been comeback attempt - Mariah Carey, Britney Spears.
2. If the guests on Dick Clark's Rockin' New Year's Eve are any indication - Brandy - 2013 will carry on that tradition.
3. I am completely unopposed to the influx of folk and techno folk music that has taken over the charts in the last few months.
4. After 34 years, I seem to have finally developed my own sense of what music I love without requiring someone else's approval that I've made a good choice.

....About Making Plans

1. A great way to make sure your plans won't happen is to make them.
2. It really seems as if buying a home is not in the cards for us, as everytime we get near the signing line, The Hubs' job comes to an end.
3. While motherhood is fantastic, making plans just isn't something we can do easily because we don't know where he'll be in a few months.

....About The Future

1. Everything could change in a few months. Monster Man will either go back to his birthmom or he'll legally become ours.
2. Hopefully, new jobs are on the horizon for both The Hubs and I.
3. My mom will probably be moving in with us soon. This, of course, means finding a larger home and, hopefully, purchasing it.
4. We're hopeful the new jobs and move will be to a different - although not terrible distant - town.

Here's hoping your 2013 is full of nothing but good things!

The Day After The Day After Christmas

I hope each of you had a wonderful Christmas! Ours was as good as it could be, all things considering. I really, really missed my Dad, but we had a good day on Christmas Eve with my family.

My mom, sister, niece, brother, The Hubs and I had a traditional Christmas dinner and opened gifts. Then, in the evening, my other niece came over to open her gifts. For the first time as far back as I can remember, there was no arguing on a holiday! It was impressive. Sad that I can say that, I know, but impressive all the same.

On Christmas Day, The Hubs and I spent the first half of the day at our house. We opened gifts from one another and had a great morning with our dog. The Hubs got me a telescope and I'm super-excited about that! And The Hubs loved his Kindle, which I think was an inspired gift from me, if I do say so myself. We each had several other gifts, as well, but those were the biggies.

After spending the morning at home together, we went and met up with my mom and went to the cemetary to spend a little time with my Dad. My mom and I cried and The Hubs was awesome for both of us. I really miss him and his absence was very prominent on Christmas Day.

Once we'd finished visiting with my Dad, The Hubs and I returned to our house and had our Christmas dinner. Having had the traditional Christmas dinner of turkey, ham, dressing, etc the previous day, we decided we didn't want that for Christmas Day. Instead, we had Christmas curry! I made chicken korma, rajma masala and rice. It was delicious!

All in all, our celebrations were very enjoyable. I'm glad we had an easier time than we could have. Made the holiday a lot less difficult to get through.

On a positive note, after another call requesting confirmation our background checks were back, I finally got a call back today from our caseworker. Our background checks are back and everything is clear! We are now in the wait to receive our invite to IMPACT training classes in the New Year! Soooooo excited!!!!

Sign Up Now Open - Christmas Ornament Exchange 2011

Believe it or not, it's that time of year again - Time for the Christmas Ornament Exchange 2011! A whole year has passed and it's nearly Christmastime again! Where does the time go? Anyway....here's the information you need to sign up!

Guidelines for Participation

1. There is a 15 USD limit on the amount spent on your ornament. I want everyone who would like to participate be able to do so please do not feel you have to spend an enormous amount!


2. The deadline to sign up is November 30, 2011.


3. On December 1, 2011, I will randomly draw names to give each person their exchange partner and send an email out to each participant, providing the details of their exchange partner. Your name will be kept secret from your exchange partner until the ornament arrives at each participants' home.


4. All ornaments should be in the post by December 10, 2011. This way, the ornaments should be to everyone in time to be displayed on Christmas trees for everyone's enjoyment.


5. Each package should include an ornament and a card.

Sound okay? Alright. Now that all that's settled, what are you waiting for?!?! Head on over here and get signed up! If you have any trouble with the form, please let me know in the comments and I will get it sorted as quickly as possible. I have, in the past, been thwarted by Google Documents because, as smart as I am (well, smart-assed anyway), I can apparently be outwitted by Google Documents. So, if that has happened again this year (damn you Google!), please let me know and I will slave away until the problem is corrected!

And, um...Happy Holidays, I guess =D

Day 8 - Short-Term Goals For the Month and Why

This is a good month to list my short-term goals. It's a very full month! I love November for a lot of different reasons and my goals outline most of those reasons.

1. Attend Orientation to start the certification process for Adoption/Foster Care - I am so incredibly excited as we got our official invite to orientation today! We will attend the orientation class next Tuesday evening. Hopefully, we'll know more after that meeting about the process and how long it will take. The Hubs and I are both ready for next Tuesday to get here!


2. Celebrate my 33rd birthday on 11/22 - That's right - it's nearly that time of year again. The time of year when I get another year older! The Hubs and I have some awesome plans, but since normally when I talk about our plans something screws them up, I'll save that until things are more firmed up.


3. Celebrate my 9th Wedding Anniversary with The Hubs - Yup, the day after my birthday, The Hubs and I celebrate our wedding anniversary! It is that great holiday officially known as "birthdayversary". As I stated in the previous point, we do have plans and I will share those with you soon, but not right this second ;)


4. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving with my family - It will be the first Thanksgiving without my dad, so I just want to try to get through it without breaking down. Because of my birthday, this has always kind of been our holiday. My dad's nickname for me was "Doodle-Turkey". I really miss him. It's going to be a hard holiday, but I know he'll be here with us in spirit.


5. Get my Christmas decorations up the weekend after Thanksgiving - My eldest niece, Boop, will be coming to stay with us on Thanksgiving afternoon and will stay through the weekend. She's great at helping me get my decorations up! And, the day before Thanksgiving - my wedding anniversary - is her 18th birthday! I can't believe she's already that old! Seems so hard to believe. She and I always have a great time, though, getting my house ready for Christmas.


6. Survive the rest of the month at work until I get my semi-vacation on November 22 through November 27. I am so looking forward to that! I need a break.

That's pretty much the summary of my monthly goals! Lots to get done, but I think I'll enjoy it all =D

Post-Mother's Day Anxiety

I hope Mother's Day was great for all of you moms, moms-to-be and those just celebrating your mom and, for those of us still dreaming of being a mommy, I hope you were able to make it through this holiday without too many tears.

This weekend was, understandably, tough for me. I spent most of the weekend reading. I finished two books this weekend, Grave Surprise by Charlaine Harris and Pandora by Anne Rice. It was the only way I could keep myself from crying and screaming simultaneously. Never before has a Mother's Day upset me as much as this one.

I did manage to make dinner for my mom both Saturday and Sunday and keep a semi-smile on my face throughout. Saturday night we enjoyed a meal of grilled steaks, homemade macoroni and cheese (my mom loves this) and baked beans and weenies (a favourite of The Hubs). Sunday's meal consisted of grilled chicken marinated in a honey teriyaki sauce, green lima beans, roasted potatoes in Italian seasoning and homemade cornbread. My mom enjoyed it. She also loved the bracelet The Hubs and I got her for Mother's Day. It is similar to a Pandora bracelet (but not quite as expensive - we are saving!) with charms of two boys - one with a January birthstone and one with a May birthstone - representing my brothers and two girl charms - one with a June birthstone and one with a November birthstone - representing my sister and I.

I think it was a good Mother's Day for her, apart from the fact she had to work. I hope it was anyway.

I've been feeling extraordinarily anxious all weekend and into the week as well. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I feel so nervous and worried inside. I feel like crying and I'm keeping a constant headache. I would guess it was nearly time for that witch AF to show, but I only finished Provera on Saturday night. I don't know what's going on with me, but I know The Hubs and my work colleagues are sure wishing whatever it is would hurry up and leave. For that matter, I wish it would too! I don't like feeling this way. I wish I could go somewhere by myself for a day or two and just hide away and mourn. For what, I'm not sure, but I feel a complete sense of loss.

I found out yesterday about the 2nd Annual Atlanta Walk of Hope. I wish I had known about it earlier, because The Hubs and I would have planned to attend. As it is, we now don't have time to do any fundraising or really make plans to attend. Although we do live in Georgia, we're about 4 hours from Atlanta, so it is a bit of a trek to make on no planning. So, we've decided to not attend this year, but to make definite plans to be there next year.

In the meantime, I've been on Resolve's website attempting to locate a local support group only to find that there are none in our local area. With that in mind, I have requested information on starting a peer-led support group in my area. I received an email back but haven't had a chance to go over the material yet. I'm hoping to do that later this week. I hope it will be something I can do. I'd love to have local support during my journey and I think there may be others in my area who could also use that in-person support. I hope you guys will give me moral support if it turns out to be something I think I can do. I'm hoping to work on this over the next year and be able to take a good-sized team to Atlanta for the 2012 Walk of Hope.

Well, I guess I should bring this post to an end and get on with work. I hope you all have a great Tuesday!

Valentine's Weekend Plans

The Hubs and I are headed off this morning to Savannah for our Valentine's weekend. What are our plans, you ask? Well, we're going shopping. I know - so not-romantic - but we have to finish our shopping for Vegas and this is a prime opportunity to do so. We will shop today and tomorrow we'll probably go down to River Street and have some fun.

I'm trying not to get/be depressed this weekend. AF is due any day now and it's just one more reminder how far we are from being parents. I know the paths we need to take, but, right now, I don't see how we can clear the rubble in the middle of those paths so that we can move on. I'm starting on the clearing of one of these paths and the other I will begin clearing upon our return from Vegas. And, cryptic though that may seem, I'll explain in more detail in my next post.

I will try to blog from Savannah, but if I don't get an opportunity to do so, I hope you all have a lovely Valentine's weekend!! What are your plans this weekend?

2010 - That's a Wrap!

So we come to the end of another year and I thought I'd take a moment to reflect on what this year has brought us. It's been a year of ups and downs; good moments and bad.

We started the year our with The Hubs still looking for a job and he, fortunately, found that job in February. That was some of our first bits of great news. After that, my department at work expanded and I was promoted to Supervisor and received a raise! These two bits of great news meant we could finally pursue a referral to the RE.

Of course, that led to some of the not so great news, like my diagnoses of diabetes, hypothyroidism, sleep apnea and hyperplasia. And the D&C for the hyperplasia. Not to mention me finally breaking down and having that MRI of my ankle done and finding out I'll have to have surgery on it. All that after starting the year with the baby from our adoption being born and the adoption definitely falling through and the chaos that went with it.

I feel, for the most part though, that even these things had their positives. Now knowing what all the problems I'm facing are, I have the opportunity to work on them and hopefully get them to a place where we can achieve a pregnancy. And having gone through the pain of a failed adoption, I know I can face most anything.

That leads us onto what 2011 has in store. I'll first give you a quick update from my endocrinologist appointment yesterday. Basically, I've had my Metformin and Synthroid doses increased (from 1500mg Met to 2000mg and from 25mcg Synthroid to 75mcg), she's added a new medication (Actos) to the mix and given me an easy-to-follow diet plan. I've also been given lots of information on both Type II Diabetes and Hashimoto's Thyroiditis and hope that Actos will assist in helping me ovulate. Lots of good things to look forward to. I actually feel really hopeful for next year. I feel it may be our year - we're on track with treatment, all our parents are now aware we're trying - it just seems a much more positive way to start the year.

The best analogy I can give for why I have such high hopes for 2011? Remember our chihuahua (technically my mom's) that went missing 4 days ago? Well, guess who showed up this morning around 4am. Yup, he's home! I feel that's a sign to hope for and expect the best in the coming year. His return is our sign of better things coming to us in the New Year!

Happy 2011 to you all!

What's the Skinny, Lynnie?

You may be wondering what grand business has held my rapt attention for the last couple of months and kept me away from you. Well, I'm here to tell you it was.....really nothing. Not a lot has happened, I just needed a little bit of a break from blogging, but now I'm back to it. In case you were supremely and voraciously interested in what had been going on in my life the last couple of months, I will try to update you.

Second Six Week D&C Follow-Up

As you may remember from my last updating post, I was waiting for AF to come along. It took two rounds of Megace and stop to bring the ole' gal on but she finally arrived. And proceeded to stay for 3 weeks! Had to start Megace back to stop her. Dr O wanted me to be on Megace for 10 days and then stop. Or at least that's what I was told. When I had been off the Megace again for 10 days and called to find out what my next move was, I was told that he had wanted me to take the Megace for another 40 days, not 10. I had been told differently, but they said I misunderstood. Not sure what happened, but I, nonetheless, was once again started on Megace to go for 30 days and then have another endo.metrial biopsy to see if hyper.plasia is still present. After all this backing and forthing and waiting, that biopsy will happen this Friday. Cross your fingers for some good news, please! I'm hoping no hyper.plasia is present and we can finally get started on our fertility treatment with the RE. I'll also finally be seeing the regular endocrin.ologist on December 30 for my escalating sugar levels. Hoping I get good news there!

Work

We have now hired two more people to replace the one who moved to another department and the one who was let go. They're currently still training, but I think they'll do okay. I also now have a new boss. My old boss decided she wanted to slow down after being asked by her husband to do so. Her last day was earlier this month and another staff member who had been the manager of my area before moved back to the position. I like her and I think I'll get on well with her. I'm still supervising my little department, but she is who I will answer to.

Birthday

So another year has passed and I am now officially 32 years old. I was on vacation the week of my birthday. I spent the day with my mom visiting doctor's offices. Fun stuff, really.

Anniversary

In addition to celebrating another birthday, The Hubs and I also celebrated another anniversary. We have now been married 8 years. Since my anniversary is the day after my birthday, I was still on vacation, so I made chili for The Hubs' office (he had to work) and carried it up. The Hubs and I had lunch together and I treated his office as well. A good job, I feel.

Thanksgiving and Vacation Trip

In that same vacation week, we celebrated Thanksgiving (my birthday was Monday, November 22, anniversary was Tuesday, November 23) and left for our vacation trip to Helen, GA. Thanksgiving was good. We celebrated with my mom, dad and brother. Then, after the meal, we left headed for our break. We rented a cabin in Helen, GA for the weekend. It was marvelous! The cabin was beautiful and very private. We saw the official lighting of the town for Christmas and saw a beautiful waterfall! We had our pup, Isabel, with us and just generally had a fabulous time. Really glad we did it.

My ankle

A few posts back you may have seen the photo of my swollen ankle. As I think I mentioned then, this is something that I've been suffering with off and on for 2 years. Well, I finally gave in and got my regular doctor to order an MRI of my ankle. The results? 3 chronically torn ligaments, the talar dome (weight-bearing bone) has a bad lesion and is impending collapse. Bloody fantastic news! (*Note: You should have read extreme sarcasm in that statement!) My regular doc referred me to an orthapedic surgeon and 3 visits and one CAT scan later, it looks like I will probably be having surgery on my ankle in either late March or early April. We are looking at the possibility of me getting away with the lighter surgery (laprascopic clean-out) rather than the more in-depth surgery (they would cut through my ankle bone, clear out the bad bone and replace it with cadaver bone). The difference is that with the laprascopic surgery, I would probably only be out of work for about 6 weeks, while with the other, there would be no weight-bearing on that ankle at all for 3 months. Please say a prayer we can successfully do the laprascopic sugery!

You may be asking why we're waiting so long to do the surgery and that leads to my last bit of news:

I'm going to Vegas!!!!

Yup, you read that right! The Hubs' boss is taking the entire office to Las Vegas in early March and I'm going with him. I only have to purchase my plane ticket (The Hubs' is already taken care of) and the room is paid for. Now, we'll also have to pay for food and entertainment, but, come on, how many times in your life do you get half of a Vegas trip paid for? I am super-duper excited and really looking forward to the trip. The Hubs and I are going to try to see a Cirque du Soleil show while we're there. If anyone has any other suggestions of things that are a must for us to do, please let me know!

So that's what I've been up to. I told you there wasn't really much of interest happening. On a side note, I'm thinking of starting Secret Pals back up in January. What do you think? I'm also planning to make my New Year's resolution to complete things I start in relation to things I do in my leisure time. I'm good about finishing my work projects, but I'm pretty flaky when it comes to my personal projects. I want to work on this more over the next year. I feel it'll help me relax some and possibly be more healthy. Hope all my lovely bloggy buds are doing great!

Show and Tell - Happy 2010!

We are now officially a week into the New Year and this is my first post. I've been a bit at a loss for words. I've not known what to say. It's a new year, but the same old worries persist. One day (or one week as the case may be) hasn't changed the things that make me sad, angry, frustrated and depressed.

I guess one could say that it does at least bring the possibility for new joy. So that is how I'm going to try to look at this new year. I'm going to attempt to look for the new joys that are awaiting me this year. In honor of that, I give you the first joy of my 2010:



The Hubs and I approximately two minutes after midnight on January 1, 2010. The champagne and the silly glasses only helped along our happiness at having made it through the year essentially unscathed and still very much in love with one another. A toast to a 2010 that will add enlightenment, prosperity and pure, unadulterated joy to each of us!

Now, head on over to Mel's and see what the rest of the class are up to!

Show and Tell - A Doggy Halloween

This week I'm showing Halloween at our house, as only dogs can celebrate! The first video is The Pog saying hello to our online friends.



And the next is The Pog and Melly having a grand ole' doggy time!



See what the rest of the class are up to over at Mel's!