Monday, June 30, 2014

Monday Morning Blather

This week should be a bit more calm than last week. Monkey does have speech therapy today and tomorrow, but, after that, we don't have a lot planned. I'm looking forward to Friday and our annual Fourth of July celebration. Our usual tradition is to grill out and then go see the fireworks. It's not an amazing plan, but it's a lot of fun for us. Should be a good time with our additions this year!

We had a pretty good weekend. We didn't do a lot, but it was relaxing. I do find it difficult to post on the weekends, so I may wind up not doing that. At least I'm posting more and I'm grateful for that. I hope I can keep it up. Although, I'm kind of at a loss what to blog about. Nothing terribly interesting has happened over the last few days and I can't think of anything I've read in the news that I have comments on.

Basically, I'm a bore today, lol!

I think I'll leave it at that for now. I may post again later today if I can think of anything else. If not, I'll "see" you tomorrow!

Friday, June 27, 2014

Birth of a Bio Sister

We got some huge news this morning. It may not wind up affecting us directly, but still big news all the same. Monkey's birthmom gave birth to another baby yesterday. A little girl. We were initially told, when she voluntarily relinquished rights, that if she became pregnant prior to Monkey's adoption finalizing, the baby would be picked up and placed in foster care and that we would have the first option of placement.

It may be crazy, but I really, really, really hope we get a call for the baby to place with us! I know, I know. We already have 4 children and that should be enough, but it would be so amazing to have Monkey's biological sibling and a baby at that! I know we could parent 5 children, so that's not a worry. I just don't know if DFCS (Department of Family and Children Services) is going to follow up on it as they said. Frankly, I feel they should. Yes, Monkey's bio mom voluntarily relinquished rights, but, because she refused to do what the State asked of her and because the parenting classes she was ordered to take stated she wasn't a fit parent, rights were going to be terminated anyway had she not relinquished. Surely they'll at least investigate for this child?

If we find out any more, I'll update. Just please keep positive thoughts flowing this way and, if you pray, say a prayer for us and for the baby! For birthmom too. If she does get to keep the baby, she needs thoughts and prayers that she'll be able and willing to care for her the way she needs.

Thursday, June 26, 2014

A Nana Rant

Today should be a little calmer than the last couple of days. We still have some activities for today - Monkey has speech therapy and The Dude has a pool party for his church Boys Club this evening - but it will hopefully be a little more relaxed than previous days.

I'm feeling a lot of frustration today with my mother. I should probably explain (if I hadn't previously) that my mom (Nana) lives with us, so she has a lot of interaction with the kiddos. She is head over heels for Monkey, but is hypercritical of the other kids. I'm not really sure what the problem is, but it is draining. Not a single day goes by that she isn't scolding them for something that really seems trivial to The Hubs and I and then she wants us to punish them for it. She refuses to go by the rules The Hubs and I set, instead choosing to set much more rigid and strict rules for them and getting angry with us when we don't follow those rules. She gets very upset that she isn't in charge and disparages us to the kids. It's very upsetting.

For instance, yesterday she went with us on our errands. I had, at one point, left her and the kids in the van while I tended to some business. While I was doing this, Princess decided to get in the floor and clear up some of the mess the kids had made in the van. Nana got very angry with her and accused her of being disrespectful. Personally, I'm like "Hey! She's cleaning! Yay!" and see no problem with this, but Nana disagreed. Seperately, we have some issues with how she acts towards Prissy. Prissy is a newly 13-year-old and, therefore, acting as teenage girls do. She does push boundaries and try to act older than she is, but Nana has some real issues with this. In a previous placement, Prissy had some problems with the foster family saying things like "You're acting just like your mom. You'll turn out no better than her." This is something we agreed not to do. Frankly, we don't know her birthmom (have never met her) so can't say how she is. Besides, she doesn't need to have things like this said to her. We feel it's bullying. Nana, on the other hand, feels that it's not, that it just "reminds her that how she's acting is trashy". Um....I still see that as bullying and don't want my daughter treated that way. Her problems with The Dude stem from the fact that he has ADHD and is contstantly talking and going 90 to nothing. I know it's difficult behaviour to deal with, but The Hubs and I manage to deal without giving him a complex. Why can't she?

She also has issues with us. She still tries to treat me like I'm a child. I'm not allowed to have an opinion of my own. If I express one, she disparages it and picks it apart before tossing it out as not useful. She constantly criticizes both The Hubs and I to the children and to other people, playing it off as humour. We found a home that she could move into with us because she is not really able health-wise to live on her own. We split the bills on the home with her. She feels this gives her carte blanche to tell the children that this is HER home and SHE pays the bills. I'd like to know how she figures this since we pay a significantly larger portion of the bills than she does. She also feels that because she pays a portion of the bills, this gives her the right to have her furniture in every single room in the house, to change the way I have things decorated to suit her taste rather than mine and to criticize any changes we would like to make. She gets incredibly angry if I don't agree that her way is the ONLY way to have things. I'll also add that I do ALL of the cooking in our home and she never, ever says thank you, instead choosing to make at least one critical remark on the meal at every, single mealtime. It's obvious enough that it's been commented on by the children and, previously, by The Hubs' mum when she visited in March. I find it very frustrating and hurtful.

It really seems an untenable situation, but also see no other solution to the situation. She can't live by herself. None of my siblings are going to step up and let her live with them. I've talked to her about my feelings on her actions, she doesn't feel there is anything wrong with how she acts and refuses to change. She feels I need to change to be exactly like her and that is not going to happen either, so.....we come to an empass. Sorry to unload all this on you, but I really needed to vent. I don't know what is going to happen, but I feel very much at my wits end!

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Another Busy, Boring Day

Another busy day today! All four kids have a doctor's appointment this morning. Lots to get accomplished in that and I'm really hoping I don't forget to bring up any points. After that, we have to stop by the store again to pick up the things I forgot yesterday. I find myself forgetting a lot more now that we have four children rather than one, lol! We have a small reprieve after than until we have to get ready for the final night of Vacation Bible School at church. The kids are having a water slide to play on there tonight. Should be good fun for them.

I have worked out that the best way of blogging for me is to do it in the mornings. I feel more creative that way. More able to write. So my new routine is to get up when The Hubs gets up to get ready for work, make myself a cup of coffee, blog and play on the computer whilst watching old reruns of "Charmed", then shower and get the kids up. This will work for summer, although I'll have to develop a new routine when school starts back. I'll make it work though.

I've been thinking about creating a new blog to work on my creative writing. Blogging is great, but I want something to help me open my imagination up again. The Hubs and I purchased a book a while back with writing ideas in it. I think I may use that to give me writing ideas for each day. We'll see. I'll have to see if I have time for it after I get this week finished.

Seems my time is up now. I have to go get my shower and get ready for the doctor's visits before getting the kiddos up. Will post again tomorrow! Have a wonderful day!

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

New Day, New Duties

Today has the words "busy, busy, busy" written all over it!

I decided to take a moment to blog and enjoy my cup of coffee before beginning the craziness that is going to be this day. First off, I have to go this morning and get (at least 2 of) my children registered for next school term. Since they were attending a different school, I have to get their records transferred. This should be interesting. I've never done this before and, despite all of our life experiences and appearances, I don't enjoy or feel comfortable doing new things. That should take up my morning. At 2pm, Monkey has speech therapy one town away. After that, I have to rush home to make dinner and get all the kids ready for Vacation Bible School at church this evening at 7pm. Somewhere in the midst of all of this, I have to do some grocery shopping.

I feel tired already.

The only good part of all of this is that I plan to leave the kids this morning with Nana. They'll be with me this afternoon - unless of course I can convince Nana to take Monkey to speech therapy - and that will be challenging enough. Hopefully, I won't lose my mind, lol!

Anyway, sorry to be so brief today, but I must be off! Will attempt a longer post tomorrow, but the next couple of days are looking to be as busy as this one! Toodles!

Monday, June 23, 2014

A New Start?

Here we are again with it having been months and months since I last posted. I'm hoping to actually make a new start at blogging. I have more time now, since I have now transitioned to being a SAHM, but I digress. Let me start from the beginning and update you.

When last I posted, we were in the early stages of Monkey's adoption. I am incredibly pleased to report that we finalized his adoption on March 3, 2014! He is officially ours! We are so very excited and totally in love with our little boy =)

Finalization Day

The last time I posted, we also had two other young children living with us who were available for adoption, but, due to circumstances, we were not going to be adopting them. I am pleased (for them) to announce they have now moved on to their adoptive home. They left us at the end of December (after Christmas) and are reported to be doing well.

We were back to being a family of only one child for about 5 months. In April, we determined we were ready to grow our family more and we requested a referral on some children living in North Carolina through Adopt Us Kids. We advised our caseworker we were doing this and she was suportive. Four hours (yes, hours) after our request for information, we heard back on the children in North Carolina that they had a lot of interest, so were restricting it to North Carolina families only. I called our caseworker to update her and she had news for me that she had received an email that morning about a sibling group of 3 who were in need of an adoptive home. She gave me the name of their caseworker and it was the same caseworker Monkey had! We felt it was a good sign.

I spoke with the kids' caseworker that same day and got information on them. They seemed to be a good match for us, so I asked for a meet and greet with them. The caseworker stated she would talk with the kids and try to arrange this. It took about 3 weeks, but we finally met with the children. We had an instant connection with them and began weekend visits with them in order for them to finish the school year out at their current schools. School finished on May 16 and the kids moved in with us on May 17! The Hubs and I discussed our situation in great detail and finally decided I should become a stay-at-home mom. So I finished my last day at work on May 30.

The kids have been living with us for just over a month and things are going well so far. We've had some minor problems, but that is to be expected. We have lots to learn about being a family of 6, but we're getting there! We feel very good about our family choices!

Termination of parental rights (TPR) is still pending on the new children. The caseworker is hoping for a smooth termination and for finalization by Christmas. They would put us finalizing all four adoptions in one year! The children are a 13-year-old girl (Prissy), a 9-year-old boy (The Dude) and an 8-year-old girl (Princess). The girls are very, very girly! They love clothes and makeup and nail polish. Total little divas! The Dude is a sports guy, so he and The Hubs have truly hit it off well! We're very excited about our growing family and are hopeful things will go smoothly. Please wish us luck while we continue to grow our family!

I'm going to be trying to blog daily. I'm hopeful I'll be able to do this and I hope you'll join me on my journey! I'm also planning to be redoing my blog design some. This would be helped along if I could find my Paint Shop Pro to install on our computer but, so far, no luck in locating it. If anyone feels like donating a blog design, I'm up for it, lol!! In the meantime, I'll be working on what I can find to update the design myself. Til next time!